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upside down: part one — 17 Comments

  1. Thank you for verbalizing this so well. We are foster parents and have struggled to communicate to case workers what we observe — they just see the “typical” outside, not the challenging behaviors.

  2. Pingback: helpful links from last week |

  3. Pingback: Adoption – upside down: part one « Together for Adoption

    • Hi, Penny…I don’t have anything published in a book right now. I’ll be making every effort to make this series available in a free eBook/download as a resource for families sometime after it’s completed, though. Thanks for asking!

  4. I get so angry when people say my son is not my “real” son. I see red. I don’t tell people he’s adopted if an acquaintance or stranger comes right out and ask I give them a blank stare and they usually quit talking. If my son wants to tell people that is his choice. I had a lady who found out that he was adopted say to me “why didn’t you tell me he was adopted? I thought he was your real child!” Seriously I could have smacked her. I also love when people ask me where I “got him.” I tell them on the corner of 9th and 9th. That’s literally where “I got him.” I don’t go elaborate and they just stand there confused.

  5. I’m new to your blog. Someone shared this link with me. Our adoptive girls aren’t even home yet, but I believe everything you have stated and am following in your tracks as we come up behind you. Thank you for sharing the real. People like me {will} need it. I look forward to reading the rest of the series.

  6. Thanks so much for sharing this. We have 3 sons adopted as a sibling group 5 years ago. They are now aged 8,9 & 10. So many of your experiences are resonating with me here. The most rewarding task ever is being a parent – we have 4 biological all grown up and married and then our 3 treasures from the Philippines. However as rewarding as it is, its a long and winding road with many pot holes along the way. Its easy to get stuck in them. Thanks for your openness and putting words into what I want to convey to my family and friends. God bless your family.

  7. Is it possible to have attachment issues even with a child you have had since birth? We had hoped that early bonding would prevent most of this, but we are seeing some of the signs.

    • Children have an innate sense about who they are or are not connected with. It is a feeling not explained by words. Try as you might one can never erase the child’s past and recorded loss. While a child eventually is. Aware that you, the adoptive parent wants her, the child is constsny aware, emotionally, that someone else did not. It is almost like a brand or tattoo that is forever there reminding the child: you are not okay.
      Sandy WK

  8. Love you and your family! We know so little of what you battle and can only imagine. Praying for more aha moments for all your children!

  9. Yes! And it is hard for a grammy to back off – but some of us CAN be trained – and, once trained, we LOVE being part of ***solution***!!! Thank you!!!

    • Hi Clive! You are more than welcome to quote a small portion and link this article to your blog or forward it to your friends and family, but please do not copy it. Thanks!

I love to hear your thoughts.