joy to behold: kingdom culture for a world on fire

There I was, texting back the speech pathologist about how to help Reagan, who speaks at about a 3-year-old level. Except I was also cooking my breakfast, and also, I had no idea how to answer the pathologist’s question, which was, “Which sounds are you looking for?”

joy to behold: kingdom culture for a world on fire

Which sounds? I thought. All of them. Where do I start? I texted out a short summary of Reagan’s ability and diagnoses, rattled through how Ls and Rs are very hard to distinguish, hard I often sounds like ah or uh unless we correct her, she does not say the y or x sounds in “excuse me” (it sounds like “eskoose me,” but if you read Risk the Ocean you know this is huge improvement over asking to be caboosed), and she does not move her mouth or tongue to make sounds properly, and –

“Why is smoke coming from the pan?” Finn asked, bringing me back to the task at hand right as the smoke alarm went off.

Oh yeah, breakfast. Whoops.

Because I cannot cook hash browns and navigate the intricate juncture of speech pathology and special needs parenting at the same time. One of them needs my urgent attention, and the other, no matter how important, needs to wait.

There are so many competing needs. It feels like everything needs to be done at once, and everything needs our attention all at the same time. But it’s just not true.

I set the phone down and let the situation simmer while I rinsed the burnt oil off the cast iron pan before starting again. We can give ourselves do-overs, just like we give our kids – we can leave the half-written text as a draft, we can mute the notifications, we can hold a boundary to those asking for information that’s none of their business. We can delete the platforms, channels, and social media outlets that feed our cortisol levels instead of feeding us.

And it’s important to remember that, because our inboxes and mailboxes and phones and screens are full of all kinds of things demanding our attention and outrage.

But just because they demand it, doesn’t mean they get it. Especially not on their terms.

We can turn the flame down when the world is on fire, and pour living water on it, instead.

For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

– Galatians 3:27

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

– 2 Timothy 1:7

The world is on fire but here we are, a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, going about Kingdom business in the midst of the crossfire.

As we abide, we let the One who lives in us pour out onto the world around us, and in doing so we refuse to take the enemy’s bait, choosing instead to play it cool while a firm boundary of equanimity settles around us: This house, this family, this day is our dominion, and whatever tries to barrel its way through will feel all the more heat outside as their feet are held to the fire in contrast with the cool joy of the living water that reigns here in this place.

We overcome not by passivity or blissful ignorance, but by strategically starving the beast that feeds on fear and chaos and distraction. We create order and beauty by walking in joy, trusting God, doing both the modest and immense tasks in front of us.

So, bake bread. Hug your kids. Kiss your spouse. Drink the water. Read the books. Think before blurting out. Appreciate the friend, reach out to the quiet one. Pray for the neighbor. Make something beautiful (like hash browns).

So many tiny, tiny, little things feel so insignificant in light of current events. The enemy goes around, the unholy attention seeker, tossing lit matches in varying degrees of proximity to us, hoping we will lose focus and run frantic, sloshing water out of ourselves in attempt to put out one fire while two others start raging.

But when we face the Living Water, soak, and refill, we can point in prayer and direct a fire hose without leaving His presence.

Last year in one of our intercessors meetings, one of our pastors gave us a double-sided page of notes and said, “Our battle is to abide in peace.” My Gen X summary of his notes is, Keep your cool. Persist stubbornly in joy. Biblical hope is not like the world’s version of wishful thinking; it is the expectation of God’s answers and movement. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

— 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

And then not long after that in another meeting, he read this passage:

Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.

— Deuteronomy 28:47-48

And we noticed the first part: Because you did not serve the Lord with joyfulness and gladness…Have you thought about how joy is both worship and warfare?

So we choose joy. We choose gratitude. We choose to play it cool, not giving the enemy more attention than he deserves, and we put our eyes on what God is doing. And as we do that, He shows us more and more of what He is up to. Our focus on Him protects us from what is not of Him, and the enemy is disarmed by our worship.

If I had known this lesson years ago, our hardest season might not have been so dark. Maybe though, really, that was the beginning of me learning this lesson of how to play it cool and survive with a smile when everything looks to be falling apart. But I’m learning it even more now, and when we know better, we do better.

We are fighting (and winning!) the battle of the day every time we pursue the particular “whatever is good, whatever is lovely” God has called us to in this moment.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness [gentleness] be known to everyone.

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

— Philippians 4:4-8

When the enemy attacks and tries to get you to look at the wrong thing, he’s saying, “Look at this, look at this, look at this!” trying to get your gaze off what the Lord has said, trying to get you to put the weight of your gaze on the other thing, on the wrong thing, and lift it off of God’s promise. The enemy wants to magnify the wrong thing and diminish hope, to shrink your trust in the Lord’s provision and ability, to inflate the discouragement and deception and lies, and to make the problem — which may be very real — seem more than it is, so as to steal the even greater reality and truth and hope of the provision and bright future the Lord has for you.

The Lord sees and knows. He knew it when you felt that gut punch, when you heard the bad news, the snide remark, the lie from the enemy that said you won’t make it. He speaks a better word and His blood is covering you, and He will have the final say. You won’t have to wait too long for it. He is preparing a place for you in the presence of your enemies, and they will watch as He vindicates and delivers you.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

— Psalm 23:4-6

So when the enemy comes at you with, “Look at this, look at this!” and jabs his ugly finger at the sore spot that has been hurting and draws your attention to it by bad news or someone’s careless remark or their disbelief that you could be doing something that they just can’t fathom, we must not fall for it. It’s a ploy from the enemy.

He wants to distract you with the lie so you don’t believe in the truth. He wants to distract you with the accusation so you forget your real identity. He wants to damage your vision.

He knows the time is short. He knows how close your promise is, so he’s desperate to make you disbelieve it.

But the promise is near, and God is present, as close as your breath. Do not take your eyes off Him, because He is your salvation, your very near and present help.

We are cultivating Kingdom culture with every tiny move of faithfulness.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

– Colossians 3:12-15

So this is me preaching to myself, and any of you who need it, too:

Yes, the world is crazy intense right now. But you still need to have fun. Do not let the enemy steal your joy. Do not let him strip away the things you love, or make you send a message to those you love that life is just too scary right now. Because God’s cool; He’s got this. He’s speaking to His people, including you, and telling you what to do and when to do it.

He won’t always tell you to do something huge and profound. He will also lead you in small, steady, beautiful things, and you will aggravate the enemy with your joy. You will disarm him with your bold, unshrinking confidence in the Lord.

We are creating the culture, and we declare it will be one of joy and peace. Our hearts are unshaken. Great days are ahead.

Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

— Nehemiah 8:10

Lord, guide our words and our walking today, our driving and our doing, our thinking and our talking. Help us to be mature, encouraging, life giving, and truth sharing.

We don’t have to be the loudest to be heard. Protect us from talking too much or any other form of striving. We trust You to lead us and use us, so we will move out of Your way and let You do the directing.

We declare peace, joy, and truth are winning the day today in our hearts and in our communities.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.

In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

— Ephesians 1:2-6


Want more content like this, straight to your inbox? Subscribe here.

related:

choose your battles: resisting our default by taking thoughts captive

dominance: praying revival into a world on fire

Are You Feeling Excellent Today?

fave books of 2023

Welp, I did it: I met my goal and read fifty-two books last year. A lot of them were good, but these are the ones that made the cut for this list – these ones, I would recommend to a stranger or acquaintance who happened to look particularly bookish.

(Actually, I don’t really know what makes someone look particularly bookish. But if they reference Lord of the Rings in casual conversation, that’s definitely a sign.)

fave books of 2023

These are almost all novels. Not because novels are what I mostly read, but apparently they’re what I mostly like. And that is somehow a new revelation to me, though I can go back to my lists from 2021 and 2022 and see that the scales tip consistently that direction, which surprises me because about two-thirds of what I read is non-fiction. But as I think about it, it’s probably because most of those are books I feel like I need to read for some reason or other, as opposed to what I want to read.

People ask this a lot, so let’s get it out of the way: How many books do you read at a time? I’ve answered it elsewhere but for the record, here’s my method, which I don’t necessarily recommend. You do what works for you.

I read at least ten books at a time. Ten books on my own, that is, not counting books I’m reading with the kids or ones we read aloud as a family. You might think that’s ridiculous, but I like the variety. And it sorta came about naturally as a homeschooling mom years ago when I was trying to keep ahead of a couple of my kids in their curricula. Those were the days of reading twenty or more books at a time, so you can see I’ve trimmed down considerably.

Also, I am a slow reader, so it usually takes me several months to get through each book. I don’t mind this with non-fiction; I think it helps me retain information better. I don’t necessarily recommend this for novels though (especially long ones, especially Dickens) because they need a fair start. I talk about that here.

If I haven’t lost you by now (all of the non-readers fled somewhere around the fourth paragraph), here’s my list of favorite books from 2023. Some of these are fantasy or fantasy-related; some of them include references to magic; some of them deal with mature themes and immoral behavior. This isn’t a list for younger kids or easily offended people looking for sterile content; it’s a list of great books that I liked. I don’t like horror or smut or tons of foul language; therefore none of these books contain those. So there’s your disclaimer.

Alright, here we go:

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

This book is a great example of “Don’t judge a book by its movie.” I almost rejected it right off because I had already seen the movie, but grabbed it anyway because someone somewhere highly recommended it. And I’m so glad I did. If you’re familiar with the concept of hygge, this book is it: Cozy, introspective, beautiful details. It’s about a very poor family who lives in a run-down castle, and their lives (and hearts, and relationships) begin to change when they meet their new landlords, two American brothers.

Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller

Am I the only Christian churchgoer in the 21st century who hadn’t already read this book? (Besides my husband, who also read it at my insistence.) Just in case I’m not and you also missed this one, here’s what I loved about it: It’s not like normal Christian non-fiction. It’s not filled with the same principles and analogies we’ve already read in dozens of other books or heard in dozens of other sermons. It’s not formulaic or repetitive. It doesn’t use those stupid block quotes on every other page just to try to get a point across.

(My opinion: If authors need those to get their reader’s attention, they’re not writing in a way that deserves that attention.)

Don Miller says some things that will challenge and possibly offend people who prefer those other Christian books as he shares his story of finding Jesus. But every time he stretches the tent pegs out a little, he comes solidly back to Biblical truth. The book is full of Kingdom principles, not just regurgitated Churchianity, and he made me laugh out loud often, like here:

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

This was one of the highlights of the year at Gaining Ground, and I wrote in length about it here and here because it’s one of my all-time faves and I’ve read it a bazillion times. (Okay fine. Five.) But if you don’t have time to read those posts, here’s the TL;DR version:

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS EVERRRRR, YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO READ IT.

Hope that helps.

Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Also one of the favorites at Gaining Ground last year. Don’t be fooled; it’s not just a kid’s book and it’s also not just a girl’s book. We read it aloud as a family years ago, and Vin and our boys loved it (though some of them might not admit it now). This time around, it provoked some deep discussions in our group on childhood beliefs and coping methods, duty versus love, and the contrast of religion versus worshiping in spirit and truth.

I read this book several times as a kid and have read it at least three more times as an adult, but what stood out to me this time was the religious subculture that reveres duty more than a real relationship with God, and how that makes it hard to have real relationships with others and accept them as they are. We grow up in traditions that tend to trump truth because they’re more comfortable than vulnerability. But those attitudes are constantly confronted and exposed by Anne’s childlike, unabashed observations and her genuine admiration for a Creator who made the world such a beautiful place.

World Without Cancer by G. Edward Griffin

“It is an ominous fact that, each year, there are more people making a living from cancer than are dying from it.”

And that’s the crux of the book. Cancer is big business and a big part of that business is fighting natural methods (like vitamin B17, which this book centers on) that really work but can’t be patented and profited from, and replacing those with expensive and dangerous substitutes to perpetuate an addiction to expensive medical intervention.

The scientist is trained to search for complex answers and tends to look with smug amusement upon solutions that are not dependent upon his hard-earned skills.

To bring this a little closer to home, the average M.D. today has spent over ten years of intensive training to learn about health and disease. This educational process continues for as long as he practices his art. The greatest challenge to the medical profession today is cancer. If the solution to the cancer puzzle were to be found in the simple foods we eat (or don’t eat), then what other diseases might be traced to this cause? The implications are explosive. As one doctor put it so aptly, “Most of my medical training has been wasted. I’ve learned the wrong things!” And no one wants to discover that he has learned — or taught — the wrong things.

— G. Edward Griffin, from World Without Cancer

The Rains Came by Louis Bromfield

A cozy (but looong) novel set in 1930’s India about the culture, classes, and relationships toward the end of the British Empire. It’s incredibly well written and easy to read, with fascinating insight into human nature and personalities. And there’s a massive disaster (because…the rains came) so if you like books about survival and crisis, this is a good one.

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

If you want an easy way to try Dickens or introduce your kids to him, Oliver Twist is a good start. It’s a reasonable length and, thanks to fewer side characters, the story is easier to follow than many of his other popular books. But it is not a clean, sweet children’s story, so keep in mind the sensitivity of a child you might read it to – there is abuse, brutality, theft, and murder in it. It alludes to prostitution and child trafficking (meaning, there are characters actively involved in those activities but those terms are not actually used). It also is an unrealistic, saccharine look at orphans and adoption – wait, why am I recommending this, anyway? Oh yes, because it’s Dickens, for crying out loud. In spite of all those disclaimers, it’s a fantastic story and totally worth reading.

Bleak House by Charles Dickens

Yes, I finished three books by Dickens in one year (actually four, but The Cricket on the Hearth didn’t make this list). Don’t be impressed though; it took over two years to finish this one because I read it aloud to my daughter, and the book is…eight hundred, nine hundred pages? Crazy long. But so good. Bleak House is the amazing story of a woman’s mysterious birth and her transition from loneliness to family.

His noble earnestness, his fidelity, his gallant shielding of her, his generous conquest of his own wrong and his own pride for her sake, are simply honorable, manly, and true. Nothing less worthy can be seen through the lustre of such qualities in the commonest mechanic, nothing less worthy can be seen in the best-born gentleman. In such a light both aspire alike, both rise alike, both children of the dust shine equally.

— Charles Dickens, Bleak House

Like most (all?) of Dickens’ books, it looks at class, poverty, and human nature; unlike the others, this one switches back and forth from a first person narrative to a third person omniscient narrative, and the effect lends to the mystery rather than creating any jarring disjointedness. Dickens is my fave and this is one of his best.

The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis

This is book #3 in the Narnia series and I’ve probably mentioned or quoted it in a dozen posts already. I can still remember the moment I first read the big reveal in the story: We were camping in our early 20s, and I was reading aloud to Vin in the tent, and the hair on my arms stood up on end as I read about the Lion. I think I actually gasped aloud.

This is a life changing, mind blowing book, and it’s good for all ages. If you have ever felt constrained, like you were meant for a level of freedom you don’t really understand, or you’ve wondered why some things happen the way they do, or you’re in a season of pushing and pushing and you’re not sure if it’s doing any good…this is a great book for you.

Letter to the American Church by Eric Metaxas

This is a must read: a wake up call to a sleepy church that has fallen more into worshipping their comfort zone more than the Creator. Published in 2022, it speaks specifically to the times we are living in and particularly illustrates why it is important to speak out courageously against wrongdoing and not just protect yourself by silence and “going along to get along.” If people had followed such advice instead of caving to masks and protocols in 2020, a lot of tragedies, trauma, and loss could have been avoided, like this one.

The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni

Here’s an Italian historical novel that spans themes like cowardice, righteousness, cruelty, injustice, political power, and redemption. It is long and reads a little like Les Mis or The Hunchback of Notre Dame in its epic-ness, but without the 100-page sidetrack obsessions about Waterloo or flying buttresses. (Sorry, Mr. Hugo.)

I loved two things about this book in particular: It gives incredible insight into human nature and why people do (or don’t do) things, and it portrays beautiful, thorough redemption in a character who seems to be lost beyond hope.

The Two Towers & Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

These are books 2 and 3 of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which we finished in Gaining Ground during the first part of the year. They are full of battles, friendships, courage, steadfastness, grief, determination, banter, and heroism. You can’t start with these two of course, but since I mentioned The Fellowship of the Ring in last year’s post, these couldn’t be neglected.

(Fun fact: This series has impacted me so much that if you put “Tolkien” in the search bar, no less than a dozen posts show up.)

A Green and Ancient Light by Frederic S. Durbin

Ohhhh, this was a cozy book. A boy goes to live with his grandmother, and he discovers a land (and some friends) that change his life. There’s mystery and fantasy blended here in a quaint small town and a not-so-distant war, and a riddle that you might be able to figure out before the end. Maybe.

By The Great Horn Spoon by Sid Fleischman

I’ve read this a couple times to our kids and it’s a clever, fun story about a boy and a servant who sail around the horn to participate in the Gold Rush, and they have to solve many problems and seemingly impossible situations along the way. It goes fast and gives a good look at the times in a way that’s appropriate for kids.

___

There you go! I hope you find some fun ones to try here. Happy reading. xo

P.S. Want a nerdy book mug to go with your bookish efforts this year? This one is in our shop, and you can see the full image below. If anyone gives you a disapproving glare while you’re reading, just hold it up in defense…and ask for a refill, since YOU are hard at work. ;)

P.P.S. Want to join us at Gaining Ground? Our discussion group on Telegram is here and I post articles once or twice a month here. I’ve also re-opened slots for writing coaching, and you can read about that here. Join us anytime — we’re currently in the middle of Lilith by George MacDonald, and we’ll start The Scarlet Pimpernel by Emma Orczy next month.

trying my patience: grace for others as we grow

The kids were pulling presents out, and Kav held one up.

“Who’s this for?”

I pointed to the name written on it. “It starts with V. Who do you know starts with V?”

“Dad,” Finn answered for him.

Um, okay. Right, Dad starts with V…if his name is Vince, at least.

trying my patience: grace for others as we grow

We’re all working on the English language here in this house, even the parents who write and wrestle with commas for a living, and also the older kids in various levels of literature and language arts.

Reagan brings me her journal and holds it out to me. The sentence she’s trying to write is “Finn is coughing today,” and I bet you can guess which word is tripping her up. Because English is hard, and also stupid.

So far she’s tried “koring” and “caing” and I’m super excited that she’s figured out the “ing” part consistently. And I know you can’t sound out the word coughing because the letters don’t make sense, but she needs to at least try. She knows what the sounds are.

Often though, she doesn’t want to try, so we get these wild random spellings that aren’t even close. And I can’t blame her, sometimes laziness is my default, too.

I could just spell it for her. If she copied it enough times she would probably learn it, and learning is why we’re doing this, of course. But we’re not just wanting her to memorize; we’re wanting her to think, and solve, and resolve. And for that, she needs to sound it out. We want solving problems to be our (and her) default, not just memorizing answers.

And when she tries that, that’s when I’ll give her the real answer and explain that English is hard and stupid. (Okay fine, probably not.)

But I won’t step in if she’s not even trying. I’m not playing tricks on her; I’m teaching her that we can do hard things. Simultaneously, God is teaching me the same thing, because this slower-than-molasses progress tries my patience like you wouldn’t believe. Her way is not my way. But if I push her to do things my way, we take a small frustration and turn it into a much bigger conflict.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

– Ephesians 4:1-3

I’m helping her navigate problems and grow, and we all do that growing and navigating at different levels. We understand things differently because we have different perspectives.

For example, most of us know exactly what’s happening in this verse:

…for [Jesus] was teaching his disciples, saying to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him. And when he is killed, after three days he will rise.”

– Mark 9:31

It’s pretty straightforward to us. We’ve read the Book, seen the crime play out; we know what happened and we’ve heard the story a zillion times.

But His disciples – those closest to Him – didn’t get it. They didn’t see what was coming, and this was their response:

But they did not understand the saying, and were afraid to ask him.

– Mark 9:32

To us, there’s no ambiguity. The way Jesus said it is the way it actually happened. But if we put ourselves in the disciples’ shoes, what He said was totally bewildering. Is He really talking about Himself? Is he being symbolic? Does “killed” really mean “killed,” or does it mean something else?

Are we dealing with something that’s straightforward, or is there more to it than that? Is “cough” spelled C-O-F-F, or does it have some of those confusing extra letters in it?

So in their misunderstanding, they respond in a way we totally relate to. They were afraid to ask Him. The Greek for fear here is “phobeo,” and it is a strong fear, meaning to put to flight, terrify, frighten, or incite dread. It’s the kind of fear that avoids and leads to more misunderstanding. I don’t want to know, so I won’t ask. So they didn’t.

Maybe they were too proud, too insecure to reveal their ignorance. Maybe they were hoping the situation would just go away. And we do those things too sometimes, glossing over and avoiding what makes us uncomfortable.

And sometimes we’re afraid to talk about things directly, so we talk behind each other’s back. We don’t want to look stupid or wrong, so we put other people down, instead. Which is interesting because in the very next verses, here’s what the disciples do:

And they came to Capernaum. And when [Jesus] was in the house he asked them, “What were you discussing on the way?” But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest.

– Mark 9:33-34

They competed. They puffed up. They pointed fingers. And then they avoided again, refusing to admit what they’d been doing. Fear, pride, and insecurity were still driving them, and they didn’t want to do the hard work of considering something unfamiliar and seemingly impossible.

Which leads me to something that happens in our house occasionally: Vin or I will explain something to one of our kids, and they’ll interrupt us with, “I know.”

(Right, this never happens at your house. Humor me.)

So Vin or I will answer, “No, if you knew, I wouldn’t need to be telling you,” and then continue what we were saying, hoping that this time they’re paying attention. Because we know the “I know” is blowing us off. Sometimes it’s insecurity and pride, pretending to understand something they don’t; and sometimes it’s laziness, not wanting to take the time to consider a different perspective. It could be any number of things, really. If solving problems were easy, we wouldn’t call them “problems” in the first place.

And we don’t solve problems in all the same ways, any more than we sound things out in the same ways. For example, I have no idea how they teach language arts in the South, where they are reckless with vowels. Excuse me for yelling, but I AM SO GLAD I’M NOT TEACHING MY KIDS ENGLISH IN THE SOUTH.

Because in some places there, for example, little i says ee, and big I says ah. As in, “Be steel and know that Ah am God.” If I’m quiet, I can hear this in the voice of my pastor’s wife.

But it’s not just vowels; it’s also syllables. In the South they remove them from some words (I was shocked and bewildered the first time I heard a Southerner pronounce “oil,” which to me should sound like “oy-ul” and not just “ull”) and then, messing with vowels again, they put extra syllables into other words where God never intended them.

How many syllables does “sin” have? Two if you’re from certain parts of Texas: See-in. Clap, clap. Two syllables. No big deal, we both agree sin is wrong. We just say it differently.

Months ago I went to a reception for a new friend and I didn’t know how to spell her name on the card I brought for her. So I asked a mutual friend. Unfortunately, that friend is from the South, and I don’t even know how to phonetically write what she said. But as she coached me through the spelling, it was sort of like, “Kye (rhymes with eye) – ah – ee – ayus –”

And I thought to myself, What’s an Ah? What the heck is an AYus? I knew it made perfect sense to her, but I had no clue. So I smiled, nodded, and happened to look down at the cake, which had our friend’s name on it in frosting.

If you’re from the South, I hope you know I love you. We’re saying the same things; we just say them differently.

Communication can be hard. Understanding and loving each other can also be hard. Jesus didn’t buy peace with compromise, but He also knew His disciples were befuddled, wrestling, and had their own insecurities and growth to overcome.

So He patiently let them wrestle – you think He didn’t already know what they were talking about along the way about who was the greatest? – and then He brought some gentle correction and perspective.

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”

– Mark 9:35-37

The thing about little kids is that they love to learn. They don’t pretend to have all the answers. They love risk and wonder. They’re not afraid to ask questions and they’re not driven by pride or insecurity. And generally, if they’re with someone they trust, healthy kids are excited about the unfamiliar instead of afraid of it.

But when we see people doing something unfamiliar or unexpected, we tend to create circles of belonging and exclusion, like the disciples did in the very next verse:

John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.”

– Mark 9:38

Jesus responds to their tattling with perspective and wisdom in His correction, because He knows they are still sounding this out, too. He doesn’t want them — or us — to just memorize; He wants us to broaden our perspectives and consider new things. He wants us to think, and solve, and resolve.

But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. For the one who is not against us is for us. For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.”

– Mark 9:39-41

We often misunderstand things that are perfectly clear when they’re not what we expected or predicted. But the Holy Spirit is teaching us, making us like Him, and He doesn’t want us to just memorize principles, because memorizing answers isn’t the same as solving problems. He wants us to walk in a manner worthy of our calling:

With all humility and gentleness. With patience. Bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

(Even if we don’t know an A from an Ayus.)

To do that, we need to consider the unfamiliar, and do hard things. We need to grow deep and wide. We need to snuff out comparison with humility. We need to try our patience, stretching it farther than we thought it could go. And when we do, grace will press out our insecurities and pride and unnecessary conflicts, as light presses out darkness.



Want more posts like this, right to your inbox? Subscribe here.