patience with joy

Scattered books and pencils, a pile of apple cores, a closed laptop. A sheet of stickers, a ribbon, a phone drying out in a baggie of rice. Several dirty dishes and a warped weekly planner, salvaged and mangled from a coffee spill that stained it through December…in case you were wondering why the phone was drying out in the first place. This is our kitchen counter today.

Not every day is this messy, but some days are worse. Life happens here.

patience with joy: slowing down when life gets messy

I kept trying to clean it throughout the day – I put the dishes in the dishwasher, turned back around, and four art projects had magically taken their place. I gathered up pencils and books, put them away, and came back to find an abacus, a bottle of glue, and a stack of construction paper. It’s like trying to slay the hydra.

It won’t always be like this; I know these days are brief — a blink, a flick of a page. Random strangers I meet in public tell me so quite often, right after they take a head count of the half-dozen with me and say my hands are full. Yes, they’re all mine. Pray for me.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

– Colossians 1:9-10

Our baby is in kindergarten, and as she’s practicing handwriting I hear myself saying things like, Go slow, carefully, and you’ll only have to do it once. You won’t need the eraser.

The kittens, those tiny twerpedoes, are growing, but still not to be trusted when we leave the house. We lock them in our room, but it’s a tricky business because one of them thinks she’s a racehorse and the other thinks he’s a cougar, and trying to contain them both behind the door when I’m running late and in a hurry is like trying to corral lions at the Circus Berserkus. I’m not even out the door myself before at least one of them flies past me, escaping toward the stairs.

And I hear Him telling me, too: Go slow, carefully, and you’ll only have to do it once.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 

– Colossians 1:11-12

It was when I was finishing last night’s post that I spilled the coffee – moving too fast, too late at night, too much on my mind, and the decaf went flying. It splashed over the calendar, the schedule, the to-do lists, the whole mess. It was a fitting end to a day that felt stained and darkened. I shook off the planner and scrubbed the floor while the pages soaked it all in.

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

– Colossians 1:13-14

And He’s teaching me to soak it in, too – to notice more, to pray more, to enjoy more. Be bold, Love, but with care and caution, He says. You won’t need the eraser.

The stains on the days in my planner will lessen as the weeks pass. Every week is the flick of a new page, with less stain, more sanctification, even at the Circus Berserkus.

without ceasing button

This is day 25 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.

wait

*This is an excerpt from Oh My Soul: Encountering God in Honest, Unconventional (and Sometimes Messy) Prayer, available for purchase at Amazon and anywhere books are sold. *

wait: a post about being [not so] patient

There’s a child in our dining room sobbing over math, over eight times four. But it’s okay, I’ve got this – step aside, folks, stand back – I’ve done this before:

“Make it smaller,” I tell him. “What is eight times two?”

“Sixteen.” Sniff.

“Great! Now, what is sixteen times two?” I check to make sure my super hero cape is ruffling in the wind, like it’s supposed to in the movies.

“Thirty-two…oh!” He writes down the answer, and I think he’s got it figured out…

…until ten seconds later, and he’s sobbing again…about nine times four. Good grief.

We try it again. “What is nine times two?” And then, thinking of a new strategy, I ask him, “If eight times four is thirty-two, what is nine times four? What is four more added to— ”

WAIT!” he interrupts, trying to think. He’s already on the trail, but my chatter was in the way. “Thirty-six!” he yells, victorious.

It reminds me of that scene in Finding Nemo. Let us see what Squirt does, flying solo

There is no work in life so hard as waiting, and yet I say wait…All motion is more easy than calm waiting. So many of My followers have marred their work and hindered the progress of My Kingdom by activity.

– God Calling, edited by A.J. Russell

When we get to the point of truly waiting – we’ve listened, we’ve obeyed, we’ve taken the leap – it is hard to not interfere. I want to hurry things along; I want to read too much into the situation. I want to yell at God for being a Big Meanie. It’s like peeking at the popcorn while it is popping, though – at best, we delay what we’re already waiting for, but at worst, it blows up in our face.

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

– Romans 8:24-25, ESV

And so I’m learning to wait. Apparently He thinks I need lots of practice at this.

The next time there was sobbing over multiplication, I was prepping dinner. We really need to enforce the “math before mental shutdown” rule.

“Mom, can I get the abacus?”

“Nope, you can do this.” Let us see what Squirt does, flying solo…A few minutes passed, sprinkled with wailing and moaning while I sautéd onions.

“Mo-oooo-om, can I get the abacus?” I hope you’re reading this in the whiniest font imaginable.

Wait. I will not overtry your spiritual strength…All your toil in rowing and all your activity could not have accomplished the journey so soon. Oh, wait and trust. Wait, and be not afraid.

– God Calling, edited by A.J. Russell

“I already said no.” Wait, and be not afraid…and I’m praying in the moment, but these poor onions. They don’t deserve what I’m doing to them at this point.

“Mom, can I get the abacus?” And, hey! I didn’t answer him again. See? This is me, waiting. This is me, not interfering. This is me, not letting my chatter get in the way. Patient Mommy…gooood Mommy…

“Why can’t I use the abacus?”

And then, it must be confessed, I flung the hero cape to the ground. Patient Mommy was done.

“Because I am a BIG MEANIE.”

See? I told you I need lots of practice.

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This is day 12 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.

teamwork

We got kittens last week – they’re littermates, though he’s a creamsicle tabby and she’s solid black. We named them Bingley and Knightley, and I don’t know how to be productive around such distracting cuteness. Logistical details interfere, though, too…just little things, like in the morning when I’m bent over the sink with my eyes closed to wash my face, suddenly 20 tiny needles impale my left leg.

Then they start climbing.

I grab the towel and wipe my face with one hand while blindly grasping for the ascending kitten with the other hand. Four paws, five claws each, and it takes a while to get them all free…and before I’m done, Kapow! Twenty more needles on the other leg.

You can hear the conspiracy: I’ll get this leg, you get that leg; we’ll take her down together! Go! There’s a song for this kind of teamwork.

[insert “Everything is Awesome!” from The Lego Movie]

teamwork: from sibling rivalry to men and women of greatness (Copperlight Wood)

By the time I get one kitten detached and on the ground, the other one has jumped back on me and is scaling. We go several rounds of this before I escape, gasping for air, and shut the little sinners in the bathroom behind me. And I still haven’t brushed my teeth.

It’s highly virtuous to say we’ll be good, but we can’t do it all at once, and it takes a long pull, a strong pull, and a pull altogether, before some of us even get our feet set in the right way.

– Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

But then they sleep and snuggle…

teamwork: from sibling rivalry to men and women of greatness (Copperlight Wood)

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and it’s just bliss. For most of us, at least.

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Gus-Gus and the kittens, and then there were three…H-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Like many older siblings, he’s not sure what to make of them, or how he can defend himself against them without getting in trouble. Like many younger siblings, they are fearless, immune to intimidation, and have no sense of personal space. Gus can growl, spit, bully, and use all sorts of feline profanity and they will still approach him with wide-eyed adoration.

Hey, wanna be friends? Do you wanna play? Do you wanna build a snowman? No? Okay, maybe later! I’m going to go poop in your litterbox now, yay!!

[Everything is awesome!!]

teamwork: from sibling rivalry to men and women of greatness (Copperlight Wood)

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Among kids, among kittens – this week, we’ve had enough rivalry, tattling, criticism, arguing, assumptions, scratching, snatching, hissing and spitting to make any human start using profanity, feline or otherwise.

The big ones pick on the little ones. The little ones provoke and pester the big ones. The parents wonder where we missed the mark.

A new school year is looming and we’re more aware than ever of leveraging great books and curriculum to model great behavior, and eliminating twaddle that carries any hint of “boys will be boys” or “they’re just kids” type of brain-numbing, sin-condoning messages. I need it for myself, too.

We need joy, kindness, beauty. Gritty reality needs to be balanced with truth in love.

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Mind your own business. Get the plank out of your own eye. Stop picking on those who are littler than you just because you think you can. They’ve been like kittens climbing to the top of the scratching post, pulling someone down just so they can claw their way to the top.

For us, this means Ramona and Beezus and their manipulative bickering are out, and books that show kind relationships between siblings and realistic consequences are increasing – those by Edith Nesbit, Louisa May Alcott, and, well, most classics. They were written in an era that expected children to be both respectful and responsible by society at large, instead of pooh-poohed by a culture that winks at minor infractions and then gasps at teen activity that make headlines.

What is a great man who has made his mark upon history? Every time, if we think far enough, he is a man who has looked through the confusion of the moment and has seen the moral issue involved; he is a man who has refused to have his sense of justice distorted; he has listened to his conscience until conscience becomes a trumpet call to like-minded men, so that they gather about him and together, with mutual purpose and mutual aid, they make a new period in history.…

– Jane Addams, 1903 address in honor of George Washington

We’re looking for characters – in fiction and reality – that discern truth from half-truth, and make the right choice without compromise. And when they don’t – because we all miss the mark sometimes – they refuse to justify or distort their sense of justice.

Some it is genuinely innocent. Kids and kittens are shamelessly clumsy, still learning about physics and gravity, how to maneuver, negotiate, climb. They tumble off furniture, trip over each other, and forget to retract their claws sometimes. They wrestle for fun, just like the kittens – Bingley is bigger, but Knightley is faster – and usually no one gets hurt.

But they do need to learn about courtesy, safety, and obedience. It is our fervent hope that our little multi-colored littermates – not the tabby and coal-black kittens, but the Mexican-Irish-Bulgarian Americans – will gather together with mutual purpose, and grow to be men and women of greatness.

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The kittens, though? They eat paper. They destroy lampshades. They climb curtains, and pant legs. And bare legs.

They hit the caps lock button on your keyboard while you’re typing on autopilot.

[EVERYTHING IS CAPS LOCK!!]

It’s Bingley’s favorite button, and he hits the mark every time.

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