A child comes up to me, takes my hand, and brings me to the living room. She wants to show me what she’s been playing. This, by itself, isn’t remarkable.

What is remarkable is the child doing it.

It’s Reagan, and she’s showing her own imaginative play, all by herself — not just going along with someone else’s idea, but making up her own story. Not copying a familiar scenario, but coming up with something totally on her own.

We’ve never seen her do this before.

She points to a baby doll, wrapped in a messy blanket on the couch.

“Oh, mama. See baby…”

I look at the baby, and I look at her. “Oh, mama…oh, baby…baby ick at de puh ook mama!”

Nope, I had no idea what she said, either. We affectionately call our smallest three kids “the minions” and it’s mostly because of how Reagan speaks.

“Baby ick, mama! Baby seep on cowse, baby pook!” She vividly illustrates with a gagging sound, repeats the phrase, and then busts out laughing.

Ah. Baby asleep on couch, baby puke. Gotcha.

“Oh! Baby’s sick? Baby puked?”

Affirmative, enthusiastic nodding. “Oh, poor baby…” she says, totally grinning.

“Aww, should we pray for the baby?”

She raises her eyebrows in an are-you-serious kind of look. Still grinning, though.

“Dear Jesus — Reagan, put your hand on the baby — please heal Baby and help her sleep and not puke anymore.” She’s laughing outright now, as if it’s okay for her to pretend a doll is sick, but totally nuts for me to pretend to pray for it. 

Giggles burst out of her, overflowing, minion-style.

That night I’m making dinner, and she’s still concerned about food, but not usually in the panicking, freaky-outy kind of way anymore — just a slightly anxious and very curious way. There’s still a quiz at almost every meal.

“Eskoose me, Mama? You make bockbock?”

“Nope, not popcorn…”

“You make soup?”

“Yep…”

“An den you make…biscuit?!”

“No biscuits tonight, sorry.”

But in my head I’m screaming, You said “and then!” You are thinking about a logical sequence of events, and grouping things together!

You know that soup usually goes with biscuits! Awesome!!!

This, the same week she took on sledding all by herself, hauling her sled across the ice and up the bunny hill, over and over again, and loving it.

Just stir the soup and keep it together, Mama. Sheesh.

We fought fear often that she would never do these things. We still fight, really. Will our kids ever be able to do the things they are supposed to do? Will they ever stop doing the things they’re not supposed to do? Will we ever catch up, meet deadlines, achieve milestones, remember appointments, and slow down?

At one am, praying in the shower, I’m totally exhausted, emptied, and discouraged after a day of herding uncooperative minions. It all intensifies into one question:

What do I do? 

The battle we fight looks different maybe, but we know what it is to be under fire, overwhelmed, and out of answers. You, me, the whole mess of us.

And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:27

Oh, God…what do I do?  My biggest concerns don’t even fit on my to-do list for tomorrow. The cease-fire ends in less than eight hours, and I’m running out of hot water. 

Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

Romans 8:34 (ESV)

Trust Me, He says. You’ve never seen Me do this before.

He reminds me to lay low, refusing to be provoked, while the chaos drifts overhead — it’s a bully looking for a reaction and an easy target. The person who falls for it is a reckless shooter who rarely hits the right target, and usually only creates more victims.

There are enough angry people out there, bleeding insecurity in the form of rash arrogance. Refuse to be provoked.

You have My permission to take it slow. To aim before you fire.  Just one thing at a time, and let Me handle the big picture. Watch and listen for it, Love, while you reload. You just wait. 

The volume doesn’t necessarily change, but a calm settles.

Your babies have been sick, but I’m praying for them. 

Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.

Hebrews 7:25

I’m not copying an old scenario that you’ve seen before. I’m making a whole new story.