Category Archives: prayer

joy to behold: kingdom culture for a world on fire

Posted on by April 19, 2024

There I was, texting back the speech pathologist about how to help Reagan, who speaks at about a 3-year-old level. Except I was also cooking my breakfast, and also, I had no idea how to answer the pathologist’s question, which was, “Which sounds are you looking for?”

joy to behold: kingdom culture for a world on fire

Which sounds? I thought. All of them. Where do I start? I texted out a short summary of Reagan’s ability and diagnoses, rattled through how Ls and Rs are very hard to distinguish, hard I often sounds like ah or uh unless we correct her, she does not say the y or x sounds in “excuse me” (it sounds like “eskoose me,” but if you read Risk the Ocean you know this is huge improvement over asking to be caboosed), and she does not move her mouth or tongue to make sounds properly, and –

“Why is smoke coming from the pan?” Finn asked, bringing me back to the task at hand right as the smoke alarm went off.

Oh yeah, breakfast. Whoops.

Because I cannot cook hash browns and navigate the intricate juncture of speech pathology and special needs parenting at the same time. One of them needs my urgent attention, and the other, no matter how important, needs to wait.

There are so many competing needs. It feels like everything needs to be done at once, and everything needs our attention all at the same time. But it’s just not true.

I set the phone down and let the situation simmer while I rinsed the burnt oil off the cast iron pan before starting again. We can give ourselves do-overs, just like we give our kids – we can leave the half-written text as a draft, we can mute the notifications, we can hold a boundary to those asking for information that’s none of their business. We can delete the platforms, channels, and social media outlets that feed our cortisol levels instead of feeding us.

And it’s important to remember that, because our inboxes and mailboxes and phones and screens are full of all kinds of things demanding our attention and outrage.

But just because they demand it, doesn’t mean they get it. Especially not on their terms.

We can turn the flame down when the world is on fire, and pour living water on it, instead.

For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

– Galatians 3:27

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

– 2 Timothy 1:7

The world is on fire but here we are, a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, going about Kingdom business in the midst of the crossfire.

As we abide, we let the One who lives in us pour out onto the world around us, and in doing so we refuse to take the enemy’s bait, choosing instead to play it cool while a firm boundary of equanimity settles around us: This house, this family, this day is our dominion, and whatever tries to barrel its way through will feel all the more heat outside as their feet are held to the fire in contrast with the cool joy of the living water that reigns here in this place.

We overcome not by passivity or blissful ignorance, but by strategically starving the beast that feeds on fear and chaos and distraction. We create order and beauty by walking in joy, trusting God, doing both the modest and immense tasks in front of us.

So, bake bread. Hug your kids. Kiss your spouse. Drink the water. Read the books. Think before blurting out. Appreciate the friend, reach out to the quiet one. Pray for the neighbor. Make something beautiful (like hash browns).

So many tiny, tiny, little things feel so insignificant in light of current events. The enemy goes around, the unholy attention seeker, tossing lit matches in varying degrees of proximity to us, hoping we will lose focus and run frantic, sloshing water out of ourselves in attempt to put out one fire while two others start raging.

But when we face the Living Water, soak, and refill, we can point in prayer and direct a fire hose without leaving His presence.

Last year in one of our intercessors meetings, one of our pastors gave us a double-sided page of notes and said, “Our battle is to abide in peace.” My Gen X summary of his notes is, Keep your cool. Persist stubbornly in joy. Biblical hope is not like the world’s version of wishful thinking; it is the expectation of God’s answers and movement. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

— 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

And then not long after that in another meeting, he read this passage:

Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.

— Deuteronomy 28:47-48

And we noticed the first part: Because you did not serve the Lord with joyfulness and gladness…Have you thought about how joy is both worship and warfare?

So we choose joy. We choose gratitude. We choose to play it cool, not giving the enemy more attention than he deserves, and we put our eyes on what God is doing. And as we do that, He shows us more and more of what He is up to. Our focus on Him protects us from what is not of Him, and the enemy is disarmed by our worship.

If I had known this lesson years ago, our hardest season might not have been so dark. Maybe though, really, that was the beginning of me learning this lesson of how to play it cool and survive with a smile when everything looks to be falling apart. But I’m learning it even more now, and when we know better, we do better.

We are fighting (and winning!) the battle of the day every time we pursue the particular “whatever is good, whatever is lovely” God has called us to in this moment.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness [gentleness] be known to everyone.

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

— Philippians 4:4-8

When the enemy attacks and tries to get you to look at the wrong thing, he’s saying, “Look at this, look at this, look at this!” trying to get your gaze off what the Lord has said, trying to get you to put the weight of your gaze on the other thing, on the wrong thing, and lift it off of God’s promise. The enemy wants to magnify the wrong thing and diminish hope, to shrink your trust in the Lord’s provision and ability, to inflate the discouragement and deception and lies, and to make the problem — which may be very real — seem more than it is, so as to steal the even greater reality and truth and hope of the provision and bright future the Lord has for you.

The Lord sees and knows. He knew it when you felt that gut punch, when you heard the bad news, the snide remark, the lie from the enemy that said you won’t make it. He speaks a better word and His blood is covering you, and He will have the final say. You won’t have to wait too long for it. He is preparing a place for you in the presence of your enemies, and they will watch as He vindicates and delivers you.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

— Psalm 23:4-6

So when the enemy comes at you with, “Look at this, look at this!” and jabs his ugly finger at the sore spot that has been hurting and draws your attention to it by bad news or someone’s careless remark or their disbelief that you could be doing something that they just can’t fathom, we must not fall for it. It’s a ploy from the enemy.

He wants to distract you with the lie so you don’t believe in the truth. He wants to distract you with the accusation so you forget your real identity. He wants to damage your vision.

He knows the time is short. He knows how close your promise is, so he’s desperate to make you disbelieve it.

But the promise is near, and God is present, as close as your breath. Do not take your eyes off Him, because He is your salvation, your very near and present help.

We are cultivating Kingdom culture with every tiny move of faithfulness.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

– Colossians 3:12-15

So this is me preaching to myself, and any of you who need it, too:

Yes, the world is crazy intense right now. But you still need to have fun. Do not let the enemy steal your joy. Do not let him strip away the things you love, or make you send a message to those you love that life is just too scary right now. Because God’s cool; He’s got this. He’s speaking to His people, including you, and telling you what to do and when to do it.

He won’t always tell you to do something huge and profound. He will also lead you in small, steady, beautiful things, and you will aggravate the enemy with your joy. You will disarm him with your bold, unshrinking confidence in the Lord.

We are creating the culture, and we declare it will be one of joy and peace. Our hearts are unshaken. Great days are ahead.

Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

— Nehemiah 8:10

Lord, guide our words and our walking today, our driving and our doing, our thinking and our talking. Help us to be mature, encouraging, life giving, and truth sharing.

We don’t have to be the loudest to be heard. Protect us from talking too much or any other form of striving. We trust You to lead us and use us, so we will move out of Your way and let You do the directing.

We declare peace, joy, and truth are winning the day today in our hearts and in our communities.

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.

In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

— Ephesians 1:2-6

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choose your battles: resisting our default by taking thoughts captive

dominance: praying revival into a world on fire

Are You Feeling Excellent Today?

living stones: we are building, not throwing

Posted on by March 21, 2024

I grabbed the phone and called one of the state offices we’ve been working with. Someone (several someones, actually) have repeatedly mentioned a miraculously helpful entity called a “care coordinator” to help us navigate part of the guardianship world we’re dealing with now on behalf of two of our kids.

But I didn’t even remember which office they went through, or what number to call. There have been so many phone calls.

living stones: we are building, not throwing

So I tried one, and a lady picked up.

“Hi,” I began, “I spoke with someone from your office a few weeks ago about applying for my disabled son’s benefits? He has a medical situation and we’re getting the runaround about Medicaid, and I’m wondering if I could get connected to a care coordinator through your office to help me navigate this, but I’m honestly not even sure if I’m calling the right place. Can you help me?”

Blarghhhhh. I just dumped all the details on her, no mercy.

“Umm…” the lady stammered. “Uh…maybe…I’ve actually only been here for four months. Umm…” She stalled again, and finally settled into awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“No, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just…just trying to–”

“No,” I assured her, “I’m pretty sure it’s definitely me, too.” The confusion is probably contagious.

And it turns out I was wrong; care coordinators are apparently fabulous at helping with one particular area, but not the actual area we need help with right now.

If I understood the process better, I could navigate it with more clarity. As it is, I pretty much only understand enough of it to complain. And there’s been plenty to complain about. I do not work in this system, I am just trying to work my way through it, and so far I have just enough experience to throw stones at it. Mea culpa. I should’ve paid more attention, should’ve taken notes or something, and should be speaking (and writing) blessings instead of curses.

(But this is the government, yo…) I know, it’s pretty hard to bless sometimes.

But I’ve noticed this among the Church, too. We don’t understand things, so we complain. We don’t pay attention, so we misunderstand. We misunderstand, so we accuse. The stones fly furiously, contagiously, and the only thing built up is confusion as the living stones divide, refusing to acknowledge the others in the same building.

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

– 1 Peter 2:4-5

The internet has always had a mean streak, and Pharisees have always been associated with stone-throwing. I’m not saying those two things have anything to do with each other; it might be a completely random coincidence that I put them in the same sentence. Draw your own conclusions.

But over the last two weeks I’ve heard “You need to be more careful” from a total stranger who didn’t like a video I shared, “You should do your homework” from a stranger who hadn’t actually listened to the sermon I shared, and “The word is ‘prating’ not babbling” from a stranger who didn’t like the translation of scripture I shared, miffed that I didn’t revert to King James, because that of course is what Jesus Himself used.

In years of writing online, I’ve noticed that normal people generally respond to posts in one of these ways:

  • constructive comment
  • hit the like button
  • simply keep scrolling

But weirdos on social media with a religious spirit tend to respond in these ways:

  • Why did you underline THOSE words?
  • What do you have against the other verses?
  • I don’t like the title of your post and have appointed myself as the religious police to protect any ignorant passersby from misinterpreting scripture and living a life of sin because of it
  • I didn’t bother reading/watching/listening to the link in your post, but here’s my redundant/irrelevant/argumentative comment, anyway
  • Why are you using a STICKY note as a BOOKMARK?! You are covering the WORD of GOD, heathen!

Smile…sigh.

Why is it that some Christians think their belief entitles them to act so unChristlike to others, especially Christians? Did they miss the part in the Bible about building up one another in love, and taking the log out of your own eye, and the world will know we are Christians by our love for each other, not by the vitriol we unleash on the internet?

I don’t think I’m the only one noticing this spike in the spirit of stupid, because I recently read this post and this thread, and this is a terrific video, also.

I can only imagine how confusing this must be for new Christians trying to navigate the Church. I’m sorry, I’ve actually only been here for four months…umm…

But another thing I’ve noticed is that if I listen – or, not even listen (as in, “actively attend to”) but just hear too much faith-quenching, belittling, nit-picking, stone-throwing, I start to feel stifled. And this surely indicates the enemy at work.

So here, to myself and anyone else needing the antidote to the enemy’s venom:

You can hear God’s voice in your life, in your days, and in your situation.

(You can also share what you’ve learned freely, and block the religious meanies on the internet.)

We have to remind ourselves of what is true.

We need to remember that not every thought in our head is our own. Sometimes it’s an accusation the enemy planted through someone else.

We need to keep in mind that people don’t judge us the way we think they might be judging us. And those who are judging us should probably be minding the logs in their own eyes.

And we need to remember that what anyone thinks about us isn’t as important as what God thinks of us.

When we hear the accuser pounding thoughts through our heads, what do we do?

Run back to the truth. Do it fast. Get it in your head and keep it there — pin it on your bathroom mirror and your kitchen cabinets and the dashboard of your car — and make it louder than the harping, and clearer than the smoke and mirrors.

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power.

To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.

— Ephesians 3:7-12

There’s a movement out there that wants to pooh-pooh the Spirit’s voice in your life. It’s not from unbelievers, but from believers, and they probably (hopefully) don’t even intend to do it. They have no idea that their fear or legalism or concentrated zeal in their pet subject is quenching the Spirit and leaking onto others. And they don’t mean wrong (oh no, being right is their goal); they seem to think that they’re doing the Church a favor by throwing stones at entire segments of believers who practice things they’re not familiar or comfortable with.

For example, I’ve seen this in criticism about worship being “too emotional” or revival being “about feelings,” as if emotions or feelings immediately invalidated things…which they don’t…because God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit all have emotions.

For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

— Exodus 34:14

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

— Ephesians 4:30

Jesus felt compassion, felt angry, felt sad, and even felt surprised and impressed by someone’s faith.

Other critics (or, many of the same) declare that prophetic words or personally hearing God’s voice outside of what is expressly written in the pages of Scripture, are suspect. They feel that these challenge the Bible, when in fact, if they read the Bible more thoroughly, they would see that personal words and hearing God’s voice are all throughout it:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

— John 10:27

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

— John 14:26

And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.

— Mark 13:11

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

— Acts 1:8

…and on and on and on.

Another common stone thrown is that some expressions of worship or devotion are “disorderly.” This comes back to the scripture that all things should be done in order (which, if you read it, has another topic often taken out of context and grossly abused, to the detriment of the Church) but who gets to define “order?” Does it mean calm, predictable, understandable, and within our comfort zone? We need to be careful here because this is similar to how the Pharisees and others justified their arrest and persecution of the followers of Jesus.

And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness.

— Acts 4:31

And all were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, “What does this mean?” But others mocking said, “They are filled with new wine.”

– Acts 2:12-13

And as they were speaking to the people, the priests and the captain of the temple and the Sadducees came upon them, greatly annoyed because they were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection from the dead. And they arrested them and put them in custody until the next day, for it was already evening.

– Acts 4:1-3

We don’t see the calm, predictable, understandable, comfortable, pre-scheduled, societally-approved kind of order in Acts. So it makes sense that if that’s how someone defines “order,” they would be very uncomfortable with moves of the Holy Spirit.

And this is where we need to remember that just because something is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it is wrong. Just because we don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s not true. Just because we aren’t familiar with something doesn’t mean it’s not genuine, because we are not God and He gets to define the terms. We don’t make the rules. We are all learning; we all have different backgrounds, and not one of us here has arrived yet.

The Kingdom is built outside our comfort zone.

Sure, anything can be abused. But when we focus more on the abuse, we tend to disregard the real thing and throw the abundance of good out with the lesser portion that is counterfeit. And scripture has a lesson for us here, too:

The servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’ 

He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’

So the servants said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ 

But he said, ‘No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, “Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”

– Matthew 13:27-30

This is sort of the Lord’s version of saying, “It will all shake out; let Me deal with it.” He has not anointed any of us as the Church Police to root up the wheat in our zeal. Throwing stones at other believers is not a spiritual gift.

But He has anointed us to other things: We have the Holy Spirit, and the mind of Christ, and every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, and we are seated at the right hand of Christ. We are building up, not tearing others down.

What does all that mean? What does it really look like, here and now?

I’m not completely sure. But let’s not throw stones at each other while we figure it out.

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bits and pieces: how we build the Kingdom with small offerings

Posted on by December 23, 2023

“You don’t need the light to go down the stairs,” I mumble as I flip the switch off. I do this at least once a day and the stairwell isn’t even dark; there’s a window at the bottom, and light from the kitchen filters in at the top.

And even if it were utterly dark (which it almost never is at our house), humans – even small humans – know how to walk on stairs. We’ve done it a million times, even carrying bags of groceries or dozens of eggs. It’s muscle memory. But the kids flip the light on just for the fun of it, I guess.

bits and pieces: how we build the Kingdom with small offerings

We like to see where we’re going, and we like the way to be clear. I was reminded of this last week when I drove to church through heavy snow and hated it with every mile, knowing I could do it but not liking it. In those times we kind of wish we had the cop-out of not being able to do something so we can beg off from the responsibility. But no, we can do hard things like driving on sloppy roads, and learning how to use cantankerous sewing machines, and going through the bureaucratic hoops of guardianship.

We were officially granted guardianship of Reagan on Tuesday, which is an odd thing because we’ve been her parents for over eleven years and she’s been 18 for a month already. So yay, that’s done – until next month, at least, when we repeat the process with Andrey. Now we just need to get used to all the new paperwork routines and deadlines (have I told you lately how much I hate paperwork? SO MUCH) and new adult-y things for her, like establishing her own bank account, which is also an odd thing because we’re supposed to get all this in place as soon as possible but we won’t even have the decree in hand to do so for 4-6 weeks, because this is the government we’re talking about.

Right, the sewing machine isn’t the only cantankerous one around here. Maybe we should switch subjects and talk about cheerful things, like how we didn’t die when we drove home in the ice fog last week.

It was the same day I mentioned a minute ago, when we were driving in the heavy snow to church. But on the way home, the snow had stopped and the roads were clearer, and I even told Cham she could turn on the radio to look for Christmas music.

And then four minutes later we hit the ice fog on the highway.

At first I thought it was fine, but then I quickly realized we were driving through a cloud that was adhering to us. Ice started building up at the top of the windshield, and then it crept lower. I flipped the wipers on and they helped a little, but within another mile they went right over the glaze that continued to spread downward.

“Turn off the radio,” I said, and flipped the heat to its highest setting. We were still four miles from home and all those little tiny particles kept building up on each other.

And I think this is when I repented of angrily flipping off the light switch to the stairwell, because seeing where we’re going is more than just a luxury sometimes. It’s one thing when you have muscle memory to walk down the stairs, but it’s a totally different thing when you’re on the highway in the dark, and ice is covering more and more of the windshield as it shrinks your view of the highway in front of you.

There was nowhere to pull over. The road was barely plowed, two lanes had shrunk to one and half, and there was no shoulder. Pulling over and putting on hazard lights meant blocking what was left of the slow lane, and surely we would’ve been hit in the fog.

So we did what we had to do, and kept going. The ice continued to crawl further down, and I continued to crouch further down so I could see the road out of the clear space left in the windshield. We were in this catch-22 – we had to drive slow because we couldn’t see far in the fog, but we also had to drive as fast as possible to get home before we couldn’t see anything at all.

Sometimes stopping and quitting isn’t an option. Sometimes we must keep going; we have to see it through, even when we can’t see ten feet in front of us. We know we’re in danger, we know God has to protect us, and we know that stopping doesn’t just mean rest or quitting, but something far worse.

And we made it, obviously, because I’m here writing to you about it. We barreled through the last intersection and pulled off the highway, drove up the hill, and then up our driveway, and the relief would’ve been complete if we hadn’t driven separately, because Vince and Afton were still out there behind us somewhere.

Eight minutes later they pulled in the driveway and pounded up the stairs and into the kitchen. Our conversations were all “Oh my gosh,” and “I’ve never seen it like that,” and gratitude that we pray over this highway every single day.

I wonder if those tiny daily prayers matched that ice fog granule for granule, keeping it at bay so we could get home in time. Because good and great things build up on themselves, too.

Over the last several months I’ve seen encouraging progress in prayer, and sometimes it surprises me in its suddenness: Oh yeah, I prayed for that, as I notice a kid making better media choices, and another kid having better sleeping patterns. I keep noticing small but visible victories, these little pieces that start adding up and instilling courage, reminding me that prayer is a powerful work that builds on itself, too. We don’t have to know what the answers or details are, we just need to agree with God’s will for goodness and healing and restoration.

And that brings me back to my efforts with the sewing machine, because I don’t really know what I’m doing with this fabric, either. I just know that I want to make something beautiful out of these bits and pieces.

I don’t have a pattern, and I don’t really want a pattern. Some people follow intricate geometric designs, and I admire their precision and planning. But I don’t want to do that; my brain space for precision and planning goes to writing, and this is play.

Why is it that it’s so much easier to not have a plan when it comes to this? With bigger life situations when I don’t see light on the next five steps, it’s not play; it’s frustration and fear and self-doubt. But here with these bits and pieces, I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m also not doubting myself. I know that if I mess up, I can seam rip; if I cut too many pieces, I can use them in something else.

That’s what I can do in your situations, too, the Holy Spirit keeps reminding me. That’s what grace is. Nothing is wasted.

We take things so seriously. A lot of our situations are serious, of course, but we fret over them as though we’re more attentive and concerned than God is, which is stupidly presumptuous. We spend a lot of our lives flying by the seat of our pants, and it seems like that’s by design because God does amazing things with our loaves and fishes, scraps and thread. He knows we don’t know what we’re doing half the time, and there’s huge comfort in that.

It’s not my job to create the material or know exactly what the finished product will look like. I’m just taking the material available and pulling certain pieces together, doing what I know to do – and when we know better, we do better – so these bits and pieces in front of me can become something beautiful, useful, and redeemed.

There’s a dark, moody scrap here, telling a kid no, they can’t go to a certain event. And there are lighter, brighter scraps over there, laughing together during movies and telling old family stories. Threads of abiding prayer weave through every day, holding pieces together. And I think, so far at least, this is all I need to really know.

We want to do something grand, but often all we have energy for is bits and pieces. Are the bits and pieces enough, though? They have to be, because it’s the only way things are made and accomplished. A book is read – or written – a word, a sentence, a page at a time. Relationships are built one interaction at a time. Breakthrough is achieved one steadfast, grace-filled, desperate day at a time.

Our obedient, faithful bits and pieces counter the ice fog of life, and it’s enough. We have vision for the next couple of small steps, we have strength for the one busy day ahead of us, we have patience for one more go-round with the kid who’s been cooking our grits. It’s all we can do. Like manna that cannot be hoarded for more than the day ahead, we cannot store the effort and strength and energy we need for all these things. We can only build the character that perseveres and comes out victorious with one small, obedient decision at a time.

It’s not about doing everything just right. We don’t always know if it’s working. We know if we’re obeying, though. And we also know when we’re procrastinating by praying for more guidance when the way is already clear, but just not as clear as we want it to be. We want undimmed light for all 17 steps, not just the first couple.

But if risky obedience is approached a little more like play, joy suddenly takes the place of anxiety. It all hinges on trust, though – Does He care? Does He have our best in mind? Is He big enough to cover my imperfections?

Yes, to all three.

Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts. Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the Lord of hosts.

– Malachi 3:10-12

The angel of the Lord encamps
    around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
    for those who fear him have no lack!

– Psalm 34:7-9

Joy and freedom and expansion are markers of the Kingdom. Fear and dread and anxiety are the enemy’s methods to waylay those.

Obedience, courage, and surrender are contagious. Sometimes people wait for the obedience of someone else to move. So your obedience creates a current that moves the less willing, and momentum sweeps through like a rising tide that lifts all boats and aligns many in the right direction. Our obedience isn’t just for ourselves; it changes the atmosphere and culture around us.

Is the dim light enough? Just enough for this step, and the next one, and then next one? Because these days, just those little steps might be all we have in us. And maybe that’s for a good reason.

Will you find your identity in your grand achievements and accomplishments, God asks us, or will you find it in Me?

I believe in the bits and pieces: Joy, freedom, expansion, obedience, courage, and surrender. He’s using these small steps of ours to make grand, beautiful things out of the scraps we have left.

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