Upside Down is now available in its entirety – complete, revised, and expanded – through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and WestBow Press. Enjoy this excerpt here. :)
If you’d like to subscribe to get posts right in your inbox, you can do so at this link. Thanks!
I’m so glad I took the time to read this. I’m hoping to run into you soon so I can give you a big hug–and ignore the puppy dog eyes. And I’d hop over the counter and hug Vince, but I’m not that talented, and I don’t know that he’d really appreciate it. I’m sure there’s some other way I can be encouraging to him. Seeing him does prompt me to pray for your family.
Be encouraged, you are making a difference and the sacrifice your family is making is not unnoticed by the One who is watching over you. He has your family in the palm of his hand. Hard is not always bad, but it is HARD. Ed said that often regarding the hard stuff in life. We grow and learn through the hard times.
Thanks for the reminder to ignore your kids. It seems counterintuitive, so feel free to remind your friends often. It is not offensive to be reminded, even though some may take offense.
I’m praying for you, dear sister!!!!
I love you, friend. I remember those words of Ed’s, and have thought of them often (o f t e n) over the last couple of years. Thank you!
Wow… I so needed this tonight. ..it’s exactly what my husband and I are going through with our kiddos. We adopted our daughters at 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and we also have two sons 8,11. It’s been a year now and the “control” issue is something we deal with daily as well. Thank you for your insight. It’s our life to a T. God bless you and your family. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more of your blog/website for encouragement and support.
The truth shared here is so powerful! Would you be willing to let us share this post on “We AreGrafted In”? http://www.sparrow-fund.org/blog We’d love for our readers to be encouraged by this post. I’d just need your permission (of course) and a brief bio and picture to use when it is featured so we can direct our readers back to your blog. Just let me know!
Stephanie
Administrator of WAGI
Hi Stephanie! Thanks! You are welcome to quote a small portion and link to this series, but I’m not duplicating my content on other sites at this time. Thank you!
I came here by way of a link from a Facebook post by a friend that has fostered and adopted. So, I only read this installment as a bystander but my heart aches for you, Shannon and Angela. I admire you and all the rest of the brave, committed souls that choose to foster children that need the love they offer. My daughter and her husband have adopted three children, but got each of them straight from the hospital after their birth. So, they will probably deal with some of the emotional issues adopted children have later in life, but parents who foster older children have such a difficult road dealing with issues they had no involvement in creating. God has given you such big hearts to reach out to these children needing love and I so admire you for acting on His lead. Bless you for being so brave and willing to help these little souls that need so much. I should commit to pray for foster parents more. Thank you for sharing your hearts.
Hang in there. We lived this for 13 years with our daughter, placed at age 2. She is now 16 and a delight to be with. It took years of consistency, attachment therapy, therapy for me alone when she refused to use the tools she had been taught, and finally changing how “I” saw the situation after reading “Living Successfully with Screwed Up People”. Then and only then did she decide that loving and being loved was not only safe but desired and she finally and completely healed”.
Thanks so much, Linda…that is so encouraging. And I think I need to find a copy of that book. :)
This is great and very helpful to those of us who have never had an adopted child. I wonder at your patience and perseverance. I’ve been a pretty laid-back parent. I don’t know if I could have been as intentional and purposeful as you have been.
Thanks, Chip! I really don’t feel patient most of the time… :)
Anger is a sign that you are getting closer to a bond.
ugh. I am not laughing because I live this every day x’s 4 kids. And yes the anger is the means by which we are kept apart…. and I am struggling within myself because I am am so frustrated that it hasn’t gotten any better in these long 4 years (2 kids – the others are foster that will leave soon.) I have become angry, too. Interactions are painful and I just want to have a normal relationship with my kids. Everything we do is punctuated with mind games and control. Blah!
Angela, I feel that anger and frustration, too. It is beyond difficult, and maybe I should’ve mentioned that often I am laughing through gritted teeth. :)