more than numbers

Four apartments. Three homes. Five pregnancies. Two adoptions. Three cats. Two dogs.

It doesn’t add up to 16 years. And if I think too hard about some of the things we’ve walked through while admitting that we’re still at the beginning of this gig, I have to direct myself back to the last several posts on fear and practice my “aim and fire” strategy all over again.

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The kids are in bed and the man is driving out to pick up pizza for our anniversary dinner date night, and I have just a few minutes to write, to sneak this in before he gets back.

And I sit here, and my words are so inadequate.

I can only breathe Thank You for this man who loves me, who takes care of me, who puts up with all sorts of nonsense and shenanigans (Shannon-igans?) and still manages to convince me that he really thinks he’s the one who totally lucked out.

(And yes, he does all his own stunts, just like his shirt says)

more than numbers (Copperlight Wood)

So, Thank You. Why would You do this for me? Beyond all I can ask for and imagine, I never deserved this.

And He says, I know. It’s not about what you deserve. It’s about what you need, and who you needed.

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I chose him to be the one to show you My hands and feet. I chose him to be the one to walk you through healing and growth and adventure. I chose him to be your partner in the joy and the mess, in the clean up operation, in the mission, in the ministry, in everything I’ve called you to.

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Haven’t you noticed, Love? I rarely give you what you deserve. That’s what grace is.

wait and listen from Copperlight Wood

*This is day fifteen of the Wait and Listen series. The other posts are here.

at the water’s edge

at the water's edge - Copperlight Wood

There is this song. I’ve heard it at three very significant times in my life.

Come and listen

come to the water’s edge

all you who know and fear the Lord.

Come and listen

come to the water’s edge

all you who are thirsty, come.

The first time was Afton’s first bath. We meant for him to be born in that bathtub, but we were so…(ahem)…efficientthat I delivered him while the tub was still filling. So he and I took his first bath together when he was less than an hour old, and Vince turned on the music softly for us as I cuddled this new, chubby little person and washed birth muck off of both of us. It was the first song that played and the only one I remember.

at the water's edge - Copperlight Wood

Let me tell you what He has done for me.

The second time was Chamberlain’s birth. She was our fourth full-term delivery and our second experience at a midwifery, and thanks to Afton we knew the tub needed to be filled early. This song played while I labored in the water for this little girl that I somehow knew would have dark hair and eyes.

at the water's edge - Copperlight Wood

The third time was the Sunday after she was born…she was two days old and Vince took the older kids to church and I stayed home to rest. And little tiny dark-haired Chamberlain and I took a warm, shallow bath together, the sun streaming through the window in a house that was strangely quiet as we snuggled in the water…and this song played again.

Let me tell you what He has done for me,

He has done for you,

He has done for us.

I’m listening to it again right now. The sky is dark and there are no babies in our house, but it is still a time of labor and birth and washing.

Come and listen,

come and listen to what He’s done.

Praise our God for He is good.

– David Crowder Band

He is good.

He is good.

at the water's edge - Copperlight Wood

This is the eve of our wedding anniversary and we are at the water’s edge again, on the threshold of a new birth of all that He has for us in the days ahead. We are learning to listen like never before.

Alone and quiet.

Aloud and together.

at the water's edge - Copperlight Wood

And He speaks to us tonight as our kids are falling asleep and I look back on sixteen years and ahead to many more.

He says, I’m still doing. I’m not done yet.

wait and listen from Copperlight Wood

 

*This is day fourteen of the Wait and Listen series. The other posts are here.