Finn walked past us on the deck, and as he bumped a stalk of lambs quarters he also dislodged a tiny spider who saved itself by sailing to the edge of my Bible. It seemed all confused about the sudden relocation, and I know I mentioned smashing spiders recently but this was different because it was outside where it belongs.
I mean, it does not belong in Proverbs, but it is supposed to be outside catching bugs, so I re-relocated it to some carrot greens within reach and wished it the best.
Fall seems a little late here and even though the wind is blowing like normal today, there are still more green leaves than yellow on the trees. As I type this, we’ve just nudged into the last half of September, which is no guarantee you’ll get this before October, but here’s hoping. You can wish me the best, too.
Because it has been a season. And I don’t mean fall.
For the first time in almost a year, we’re back to almost-full weeks at the desk again. Which means twice as much writing time as we’ve had lately, which further means there’s time to finally catch up on the burgeoning posts-in-progress document that taunts me with unfinished pieces of work.
(Note: I, too, am an unfinished piece of work.)
That document is currently tipping the scales at 23 pages because thoughts have accumulated faster than I could process, accruing at an alarming rate that the diminished office time couldn’t keep up with.
So here we are, keeping up…and catching up, because I refuse to send you a 23-page blog post. You’re welcome.
In non-writer speak, it’s like load after load of laundry piled up on the couch with no one home long enough to take care of them. You get clean clothes at least, so there’s that, but they’re not sorted, folded, or put away. And when you want to get dressed, you have to dig for your favorite shirt, which is probably wrinkled and hiding under one of the cats. (Also, you can’t sit on the couch.)
So in effort to keep shorter accounts with myself (and my document), and in better touch with you, I’m shifting gears a bit to attempt shorter, probably more rambling posts.
All of which is to say, you’ve been warned.
(This may also explain why there are three flannels — all mine — on the back of our bathroom toilet, and another over the desk chair behind me. A sign that it’s not just writing that needs caught up on around here.)
I should also warn you that I’ve attempted this with the last couple posts and they clearly did not end up shorter. You probably noticed this, but I’m saying it aloud so you know I’m trying, at least.
I mean, I’m trying to try less: To keep things lighter, take things less seriously. But this is a serious season, and it’s not cooperating.
At the end of the last post I mentioned this concept of ruling in the midst of our enemies – and of course people are not our enemies, though sometimes they act or feel like it. This season is not my enemy, or your enemy either.
It is a crucible for sure, but it’s not the first and won’t be the last and it really is no more than the breeze combined with Finnegan’s elbow that dislodged the spider from its green stalk earlier today: We are moved in a way we didn’t choose, and disturbed from our comfortable routines in a way we probably didn’t expect. And while it may be the end of some things, it’s not the end of everything (unless you’re a spider and someone squishes you).
It is a combination of elements and events, and none of them are the enemy.
Which is not to say that
a) there isn’t an enemy, because there is
or that
b) everything is a coincidence, because it’s not. God is here and working purpose into everything.
So the serious season can also be our remaking as much as it feels like our undoing. It is certainly refining…or ought to be, if we steward it well. It may actually be the beginning of something we never could have imagined, or made happen on our own, or thought ourselves capable of.
But here is the question, and how we answer it will greatly decide the matter:
Are we just as secure in a hard season as we are in an easy one?
The spiritual, Churchy answer is Yes, of course we are.
But the honest answer is revealed by how we really we live it out.
The Lord says to my lord,
“Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies your footstool.”The Lord sends out from Zion your mighty scepter.
Rule in the midst of your foes.– Psalm 110:1-2
This is a Psalm of David about a lot of things, but among them is a message for us about our identity.
So, some follow up questions to flesh this out:
- In a season of grief, loss, or mistakes, do we feel as capable as we do in a season of winning?
- In a season of attack, betrayal, or abandonment, do we feel as secure and confident as we do when we are surrounded by our friends who believe the best in us?
- In a season of (fill in the blank), can we still remember that what will be well is even now well, because we live in the Kingdom that is already and not yet?
- Or do we allow opposition to shift our behavior and demeanor, and diminish who we are?
Because our identity hasn’t changed in any case, but if we believe the accusations of the enemy, we will act like it has. The key is to keep those lies outside where they belong. Unlike spiders, they should be squashed regardless of their geography.
If we can do that, we will rule in the midst of our enemies. That knowledge will actually make a difference in our hearts so we feel it and live it out, rather than just nod and smile with the right religious answers.
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
— Romans 8:1
The life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
— Galatians 2:20b
We can learn to be so integrated, whole, and secure in who He says we are, that the temporary things don’t fracture or diminish us.
There’s another challenge to this and I hate to bring it up because we’d usually just rather ignore it.
And that challenge is, Ignoring it. Living in denial or avoidance, because facing our enemies feels risky.
But that is the thing God is calling us to do: to challenge (and change) those feelings, and bring them into alignment with Him. He wants us to believe Him so strongly that people and circumstances don’t change our belief in what He says. Instead, that belief is truly lived out, and it changes those relationships and circumstances.
For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing: to the one group a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is qualified for these things?
— 2 Corinthians 2:15-16
So we have to face it. We will not know we can do this until we actually…do it.
It feels safer to avoid, but the only way it gets better is to engage. I’m talking about teaching teenagers to drive, and other terrifying situations.
When I was praying about this a couple weeks ago – living out our true identity, that is, not driving with teens – I realized I had avoided it because I was afraid that believing Him would become overconfidence. I was afraid of a lack of awareness or sensitivity to my own faults and blind spots, leading to a numbness of conviction.
Now we have received not the spirit of the world but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the gifts bestowed on us by God.
— 1 Corinthians 2:12
The Lord pushed on that and said, What else?
What else? Well…if pride leads to a fall, I realized I was afraid He would allow me to fall, which would lead to Him correcting me in a huge, humiliating, devastating way.
So you’re afraid that if you agree with Me fully about your value and ability in Me, that I’ll humiliate you?
That looks pretty stupid in print, but yes, that’s what it was. Afraid of success, afraid of blindsiding, the other shoe dropping, afraid that God would be like the genie in the bottle or the leprechaun who turns wishes into curses. Worse and worse.
He asked, What will keep you from becoming insensitive to My instruction and correction, so that doesn’t happen?
Abiding, I said. Duh.
Yeah, He said. Do more of that.
So here we are, doing it: Shorter accounts with Him, shorter accounts with you, pages and pages and pages in the journal, and that work-in-progress document slowly shrinking as I sort things out.
His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and excellence.
Thus he has given us, through these things, his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may escape from the corruption that is in the world because of lust and may become participants of the divine nature.
— 2 Peter 1:3-4
To sum up:
- We can walk among our enemies (whoever or whatever they are…or seem to be) with the same sense of favor as we walk in among our friends.
- We can move and live and breathe with the same purpose when we’re in the midst of opposition as we do when we’re in the midst of friends.
- We can also remember that we are not our own enemy – and the Lord will keep us in check as long as we abide. We must keep even shorter accounts with Him.
This is what happens. Someone will casually mention something off-hand, and it messes you up for three weeks. Then you write 2000 words and feel better.
At least, I do.
Praying for you,
Shannon
Now to him who is able to keep you from falling
and to make you stand without blemish
in the presence of his glory with rejoicing,
to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.
— Jude 24-25
P.S. If you are needing to process some things too, we have a couple slots for coaching currently available for either single sessions or longer (6-8 weeks). Couples coaching is also now available with both Vin and I, if your marriage needs some healing and perspective. Info and sign up here.