Ideally, around 8pm we put the kids to bed, and Vince and I begin a quiet evening to ourselves.
You know why I used the word “ideally,” of course.
Around 9pm, Kav came out his room and asked, “Can I use a stool for something?”
Something? All parents know that suspicion rides along with vague requests, calling for due diligence.
“Why?” If you are already tucked in bed, what could you possibly need a stool for?
“To put…something…on top of…the door?”
Ah. Something again, and definitely not in bed. Totally asking for trouble.
“Nope.”
“Why not?” He has the audacity to sound utterly baffled at my opposition to his request. Forgive his innocence; he’s the youngest, only seven, and has no memory of the shenanigans his oldest brothers subjected us to.
“Because I’ve had four boys before you, and I know what boys do to the tops of their doors after bedtime.” Actually they can do any number of things, and most of them shouldn’t be happening after 9pm.
“Like what?” he asks, intrigued, as though he could use some new ideas and I would actually give them to him. But no way; this isn’t my first rodeo. With eight kids, he’s not my fifth, or sixth, or even my seventh rodeo.
I know, eight rodeos seems like a lot. It really is.
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, when we learn better, we do better. I have learned better how to redirect boys, how to nip things in the bud, and hopefully, how to curb enthusiasm without entirely quenching it. Still not perfect at it by any means, but the relative peace and quiet we experience now is such a contrast to that other season.
Part of it is wisdom, part of it is time. (Part of it is also demographics…but I digress.) And though wisdom and time are often related, there’s no guarantee they’ll go together: Sometimes wisdom comes suddenly (usually from horrible experiences), and sometimes time just adds more fear, trauma, and distrust.
Fear and its cohorts can eclipse any wisdom we’ve gained, making us hold back, shrink back, stay where we think it’s safe. We don’t want to ask for trouble — we’re not rocking any boats, not making any waves. And we can even use scripture (out of context, of course) to defend our cautious inactivity so we’re convinced it’s the right thing to do.
I’m not saying that we should never hold back. I’m saying we shouldn’t use caution as a blanket excuse to never move forward.
Because following Jesus is asking for trouble.
One of the most common verses I’ve seen to keep people in uncertainty, distrust, and stagnation is this one:
The heart is devious above all else;
it is perverse—
who can understand it?– Jeremiah 17:9
When it’s misused, it can make us doubt not just our own hearts, but also doubt what we hear from the Lord. Did He really say…? Can I really hear Him?
Which of course leads to doubting the Lord, because we don’t believe He’s actually talking to us or leading us. But since it’s under the guise of doubting ourselves, it’s the safe, righteous-looking thing to do, don’t you know.
That single verse is not simply about mistrusting our own heart (or judgment, desires, or anything else wrapped up in that concept) because the context around it is a counterbalance. It’s all about trusting the Lord to lead, plant, provide, and examine us.
Here’s what surrounds it, and you’ll see there are many truths at play here:
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
They shall be like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots by the stream.
It shall not fear when heat comes,
and its leaves shall stay green;
in the year of drought it is not anxious,
and it does not cease to bear fruit.The heart is devious above all else;
it is perverse—
who can understand it?
I the Lord test the mind
and search the heart,
to give to all according to their ways,
according to the fruit of their doings.– Jeremiah 17:7-10
More than one thing is true here, and they are not in competition.
Yes, the heart is devious; also yes, God searches us and protects us and provides for us.
Yes, we sometimes have wrongheaded desires; sometimes we want to booby trap doors long after bedtime. But also yes, the Lord can direct and redirect our desire to wield our engineering genius (which came from Him, by the way) into alignment with what He wants for us.
He knows the stuff we are made of, because He put it there. He knows the rodeos we were made for and long for.
And also He knows the ones we’re avoiding.
He knows all about our desire to stay out of trouble. Yes, the heart can be perverse and devious; also yes, our desire to play it safe is one of the most common ways it leads us astray.
Sometimes we water down faith into mere passive belief to excuse the fact that faith comes with doing, and doing comes with risk. And our willingness to risk reveals what (or Who) we actually believe in the first place.
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would approach God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
– Hebrews 11:6
Those who are spiritual discern all things, and they are themselves subject to no one else’s scrutiny.
“For who has known the mind of the Lord
so as to instruct him?”But we have the mind of Christ.
– 2 Corinthians 2:15-16
We have to know who we’re dealing with: Who He is, and who we are. We have to believe what He says about us.
Which means we have to be willing to ask for trouble. We were designed for rodeos, exploits, and shenanigans.
I shared in my last post about the fear of moving off track in overconfidence when we believe all that God says about us and how He lives through us.
Then I got sick for a couple days. Hello world, coffee, daylight, friends, it’s so good to see you all again.
The following Sunday morning, Vin took the kids to church so I could recover in slow moves. Fortunately it wasn’t one of those illnesses where you need to be close to the bathroom or a bucket; I was just exhausted and head-swimmy, and needed to be close to the couch or the bed.
I turned on my laptop to watch our service online, and while I waited for it to start I opened my Bible to where I left off in 1 Chronicles.
The chapter was about David’s desire to build a house for God. He told Nathan the prophet, and Nathan said, Yep, go for it, sounds great, God is with you.
Then immediately, this verse:
But that same night the word of God came to Nathan, saying, “Go and tell my servant David: Thus says the Lord: You shall not build me a house to live in.”
— 1 Chronicles 17:3-4
Ah. Fast correction, nipping something in the bud. The desire was well-intentioned and the Lord didn’t bring the smack down on David for it. But He did redirect him. And to his credit, David submitted to that redirection.
Ideally, this is the way it goes.
Again, you know why I used that word “ideally.”
Sometimes we don’t accept the correction or redirection, and we stubbornly plow ahead in something the Lord clearly said no to. This is the presumptuous side of our heart misleading us, because this is not a heart surrendered to the Lord in the first place. It’s devious, instead. It wants what it wants and doesn’t care about anything else.
But the other side of our heart misleading us looks like refusing to move ahead at all.
We want safety, not trouble. We want to be right more than righteous. Self preservation keeps us from speaking up, standing up, or making a move even when He tells us to because we don’t want to risk getting it wrong. We tend to avoid the risk of great exploits, numbing ourselves in a comfort zone of lukewarm mediocrity because it feels safe. (Ouch, sorry.)
Whether we rush ahead presumptuously or stay back in fear, both are selfish, prioritizing our own wants. Both ways neglect to trust and abide in Him.
The good news is that when our hearts are surrendered to the Lord, we hear and obey His leading. We can live in His green light because we trust Him with the reds and yellows, too.
The human mind plans the way,
but the Lord directs the steps.– Proverbs 16:9
Following Jesus is not about us staying out of trouble. Relative peace and quiet, yes, but lack of trouble, no. He wants us to partake in many, many rodeos. Fortunately, the Lord knows how to direct and redirect us, how to nip bad ideas in the bud, and how to curb our enthusiasm without entirely quenching it.
We can live within His permission when we’re fully open to His correction and redirection. When we’re abiding, living in the Yes and Amen of His green light, He will quickly correct us before we go wildly off track and get it wrong. Our responsiveness saves a world of hurt and regret.
We don’t need to be afraid, we just need to keep talking with Him. And that conversation includes asking for trouble.
Subscribe here to get these emails free in your inbox — no spam, no jive. Teaching & sharing wholeness, hope, and Kingdom culture is our family’s full time job. You can learn more about what we do here, or support our ministry here. Thanks!