Category Archives: history

what the day demands: holding the hospital accountable

Posted on by February 18, 2022

Just quickly, because I hate thinking about it, I want to give you an update on our experience with Alaska Regional Hospital, who refused emergency care to our toddler when he broke his arm and needed emergency surgery because I would not allow them to swab him for Covid.

The hospital investigated the incident and admitted fault. They apologized profusely, multiple times. We have had communication with them through emails, letters, and phone calls. To quote the letter from the Patient Safety Director: “Our comprehensive review found opportunities for improvement and we will address these concerns with the individuals involved and will provide education throughout our facility.”

what the day demands: holding the hospital accountable

That’s the quick summary.

The longer, more detailed version is this: In the same letter, they said they considered the matter concluded but also admitted they had not yet addressed the people involved (“we will address these concerns”) and that was a red flag to me. So I spoke with the director who wrote the letter and expressed that concern, and asked for more specifics.

In that conversation, the Patient Safety Director was very nice and again apologized. However, she also attempted to shift blame by accusing me of taking video in spite of their policy against it. I was unaware of this policy, since they violated their own policy by not giving me a copy of the Patient’s Bill of Rights and Responsibilities. Ironic, yes? This is just one example of how policies are neglected or enforced based on a convenient double standard instead of integrity.

To give you an idea of how that conversation went (and to help equip you in the event of a similar debacle), the bulk of my follow up letter is copied below.

You mentioned the hospital’s policy against taking video, which, since I was not given a copy of the Patient’s Bill of Rights and Responsibilities (a violation of Alaska Regional’s own policy, per its website here) I was unaware of. However, does that policy excuse the behavior that was captured on those videos?

In our conversation, I pointed out that most people breaking the law (as your staff did) tend to not want video or audio recordings of such behavior. However, the State of Alaska does not prohibit the recording of conversations, per Alaska Statute § 42.20.300(a) which indicates that only a party of the conversation is allowed to record and/or broadcast the communication, in addition to Federal law, 18 U.S.C. § 2511(2)(d), which requires only that one party give consent, and I am that party.

I was alone with no other advocate (your staff not allowing my husband to be with me, which also seems to violate the hospital’s listed visitation rights per your website here, nor offering a patient advocate as is policy for all joint commission accredited hospitals). Your staff broke several policies and laws, so this is a bad time to defray responsibility by accusing me of recording of the event. It was the only wise protection for myself as I was left with hospital staff who attempted to strip me of every other protection, to the point of calling the police and threatening to trespass me because I dared to ask questions about a test for my son that I had every right to refuse, also according to the Patient’s Bill of Rights.

It was interesting to me that, like the nurse who was focused more on the mask issue than our toddler’s broken arm, you also returned to the mask issue a couple times, to the point of repeatedly asking if our entire family has mask exemptions. Our entire family consists of eight children and two parents — ten people— and none of our medical status or history is any of your business. As a Hospital Patient Safety Director, you ought to know that. Your returning to the irrelevant mask issue likewise shows a grave error of priorities in this situation.

I suggest your staff review these and other laws more closely as it appears there are several misunderstandings where you and your staff judge certain hospital policies to be superior to actual laws, which they are not, and other hospital policies that are there for the protection of patients to be irrelevant. Alaska Regional Hospital is subject to the laws of the United States and the State of Alaska. Those laws are not nullified because of policies and mandates.

To reiterate from our conversation and your letter, we are using very different language. I want to clarify to you again and in writing that I did not simply feel “unsupported” but that I was bullied and traumatized. Your staff was not “insensitive” – they were abusive, and repeatedly attempted to intimidate and pressure me into doing what they wanted. Lastly, this is not simply “an opportunity for further education and improvement;” this was Alaska Regional Hospital committing multiple violations of the law (ADA, HIPPA, and/or EMTALA, in addition to those mentioned above), along with committing multiple violations of the Patient’s Bill of Rights as listed on the hospital’s own website.

Please call it what it is; acknowledging the gravity of the situation would make your apology more convincing. Whitewashing the events does not convince me that any lasting change is coming to your facility.

Their behavior during this event indicates that the staff involved in this situation have clearly been getting away with this kind of treatment for a long time.

The only reason it came to light this time is because we did not succumb to it and we let many, many people know about it. Those people, including our family and several elected representatives, are very eager to know how Alaska Regional Hospital is going to correct this situation, including whether they will persist in charging us the $708 for such a traumatic, incompetent experience. We would like your assurance that this kind of situation never happens to another family again.

Thank you again,
Shannon Guerra

In her reply, the same director ignored the laws and policies mentioned and repeated many of the kind-but-squishy phrases from her original letter. Watered down words don’t impress me, and euphemisms expose dishonesty.

You spurn all who go astray from your statutes, for their cunning is in vain.

– Psalm 119:118

They did, however, waive the $708 charge as a “gesture of goodwill.”

It was truly the least they could do.

One of our daughters was born in that hospital. Baruch, our baby who I miscarried, was delivered there. But now this happened there, too, and I never want to step foot in that place again.

Forgiveness is free, but trust is not regained by double standards and diplomatic condescension.

This quote hangs in my office:

Weasel words from mollycoddles will never do when the day demands prophetic clarity from great hearts.

– Theodore Roosevelt

The day is coming when medical abuse will be brought to justice and those who justified it will find they were on the wrong side of history, to their shame and regret. The more we call out the whitewashing mollycoddles and speak with the truth of prophetic clarity, the sooner that day comes.

I am filing away this paperwork, and wishing the memories were that easy to shut away, too. We have bills upon bills from facilities who actually did provide service for Kav, and we are grateful for those in the medical industry who are doing their work with integrity and honesty.

Bottom line: Be a decent person. Don’t hide behind hypocrisy and double standards. And be nice to nerdy writers; we know how to get the word out.

best books of 2021

Posted on by September 7, 2022

We’ve had several windstorms already this winter but lucked out during the last one, when most of the Valley lost power. We, of course, had our own drama at that time so it was a huge blessing we didn’t also have to deal with no heat, hot water, or electricity. But we lost power earlier in the year enough times to decide that a woodstove was a necessity sooner rather than later.

best books of 2021

When the power went out during the first windstorm last fall, it was late afternoon and we were quickly losing daylight. I was reading, moving closer and closer to the window so the light would hit the page at the best angle.

This was before the first real snowfall, so the ground didn’t reflect any light. Outside, an old leaf flew up and caught on the branch of a tree, adopted temporarily before letting go and flitting like a bird to another tree where it held again for a minute before a gust blew it away.

Inside, the light kept fading, and even though I was trying to read Hannah Fowler fast enough to finish the chapter before darkness made it impossible, it was a losing battle. It was just like when you stay up too late, trying to finish a chapter before exhaustion hits. But there wasn’t enough light, so I gave up and lit candles and started putting together a cold dinner.

My goal was to read 52 books last year. I read 54. It’s my record; the only other time I came that close was 21 years ago which was the first year I was a mother, when I was nursing a baby with reflux 32 hours a day. This year my goal is higher but so far it’s off to a slower start – I’ve only marked off one book so far – though I read several at a time and could feasibly knock out six before February. We’ll see.

Here are my favorites from last year: The ones I loved, the ones I’ll read again, and the ones that I think could change the world if more people read them. Not every book fits in all those categories (though the ones by C.S. Lewis do, of course). And in full disclosure, the first two books on this list are ones I’m still reading. But I love them so much that you get them on this list now so you can grab them sooner rather than later if you want to.

The Vision of the Anointed by Thomas Sowell:

I quoted this one twice in my last post with this warning: “Thomas Sowell is crazy smart, and I admit it helps to have a drink handy while reading him (I mean coffee, not wine, or don’t bother).” So you’ve been warned. But this is one that I think could change the world if more people read it. He wrote it about 20 years ago, but you’d never know that if the copyright page didn’t tell you; it seems like he’s writing about the days we’re living through now. Here:

Human beings have been making mistakes and committing sins as long as there have been human beings. The great catastrophes of history have usually involved much more than that. Typically, there has been an additional and crucial ingredient — some method by which feedback from reality has been prevented, so that a dangerous course of action could be blindly continued to a fatal conclusion.

— Thomas Sowell, The Vision of the Anointed

An Everlasting Meal by Tamar Adler:

I’ve read a lot of cooking and foodie books over the last few years and this is my new favorite. I will come back to it again and again (and I already do, as I’m cooking) – she is not only a beautiful, gifted writer, but she cooks the way I do (except she’s a chef, so, you know, tiny difference) and reading this book validates my quirks in the kitchen. I want to cook every time I read it. So if you don’t like to cook, give it to your spouse and see if it does the same thing. You’re welcome.

Howards End by E.M. Forster:

I don’t know if I loved this book because I loved the new movie version first or if I would’ve loved the book more (or less) had I read it first before watching it. It’s one of those that has major lessons in it about human nature for those who read slowly enough to learn them. But if you’re not sure about reading it, try the most recent version of the movie because it is also wonderful, and see if that convinces you. Because, forget Howards End, I want to live in the Schlegel’s London flat full of stuffed, turquoise bookshelves.

Pity, if one may generalize, is at the bottom of woman. When men like us, it is for our better qualities, and however tender their liking, we dare not be unworthy of it, or they will quietly let us go. But unworthiness stimulates woman. It brings out her deeper nature, for good or evil.

– E. M. Forster, Howards End

Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens

This was my second go-round with Nicholas Nickleby and I forced my family to come with me. Most of them Some of them liked it. To be fair, it took us over two years to get through the whole thing because it’s over 800 pages and we would read aloud only a few times a month over the squalls of a baby who became a toddler while we went through it. Using Librivox during long drives to Palmer helped, and if you like audio, there’s a terrific version here.

Here’s why I love Nicholas Nickleby, and it’s not just because it’s by Dickens (though he’s my favorite and that’s a pretty good reason): I love Nicholas because he does what you want him to. He stands up for his sister, he confronts cruelty, he is patient and tender with the broken, and best of all, when someone needs horsewhipped, he’s not afraid to do it. *glares disgustedly at David Copperfield*

The Awakening of Miss Prim by Natalia Sanmartin Fenollera

I do not like modern fiction, almost ever, and this was an exception. It is a cozy, contemplative, bookish story that makes you want to move to the town it takes place in. But let me do you a favor and tell you right now that the Man in the Wingchair never gets a real name, which surprised and annoyed me – I had been waiting to discover his name for the entire book. So I’m telling you now to prevent you from expecting it and being disappointed, thereby freeing you to love this otherwise delightful, beautiful, slightly nerdy book.

Hannah Fowler by Janice Holt Giles

This was an ugly old hardcover sitting on my shelf that I must’ve picked up at a thrift store years ago. I happened to pull it off the shelf one day and out of curiosity read the first sentence, and then the next, and then the next…and this is a good way to find the next book you want to read. If you’re not bored in those first sentences, it’s worth a go.

I learned something new in every chapter about pioneering life, living outdoors, and homesteading. Hannah is a strong, thoughtful character, and as I read I wondered if she was strong or gutsy enough to do the things I was hoping she would…and she did.

Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

I have said so much about Wind in the Willows here already. It’s in this post, and this post, and this book, and all I have left to tell you is that it gets better and better the more times you read it, so please get going on it and you won’t be sorry. This was probably my fourth or fifth time through. If you can read it out loud to your kids and give Toad a ridiculous voice, all the better.

A Brutal Justice by Jess Corban

Quick backstory: I found this book through an online readers group when someone mentioned a hate-fest of people leaving 1-star reviews for its Christian author because one reviewer said her books were full of  homophobic content. So I bought the books (it’s a series of two) to see for myself, and lo and behold…the haters were wrong, as they often are. Here’s my review of the first one, which will also tell you a little about the second one:

This book both was and wasn’t what I expected, but it was nothing like what all the angry, misinformed 1-star reviews tout it as (most of whom admit they never even read the book, which is obvious to those of us who have…and ironically meshes well with the point of the story).

That point of the story is that women, acting in fear and anger and hatred, can be overbearing and cruel. Attempting to fix one huge problem by going in the extreme opposite direction is foolish and leads to serious consequences. Those consequences need to be faced and acknowledged, not ignored out of fear, insecurity, or narcissism.

I don’t usually like young adult books or dystopian novels, and the writing in this book is definitely not my style. (The writing in the second book improves by several notches, in my opinion.) But the storyline is fascinating, and the way both men and women are honored for their distinctness is something that I’ve thought about for days, and will continue to do so.

So, back to my review of the second book in the series, which is the one I loved: Remember what I said about not liking modern fiction? This was another exception that has me rethinking my prejudice. The concepts, characters, and setting were fascinating, and the turns of the story were super satisfying. The first book sets the stage for the story, but this is the one that I didn’t want to end.

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis gets a lot of credit for Oh My Soul because this book shaped much of it (or, it shaped much of me as I was writing it) and I come back to Mere Christianity every five years or so because it is so rich, I want the truths to sink into me and stay there. My high schoolers (three so far) each read it twice during school – once as freshmen or sophomores, and again as seniors.

“A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is… A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.”

– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

I don’t read many parenting books anymore. It’s definitely not because I feel like I have this parenting gig nailed already (I am still trying to remember to get my little kids in the bath at least twice a week) but because parenting books can be so discouraging. Overwhelming. Condescending and condemning, in a nicey, psychobabble-laced-with-Christianese kind of way. And I’m good enough at fighting all those feelings without paying $17.95 and reading 220 pages to pound it in, thankyouverymuch.

This book was not like that, though. This book was empowering and encouraging and equipping, and so full of ideas and information that it is worth keeping on a low shelf where you can reach it often and refer back to. It also has a terrific section in each chapter that you can read with your kid to empower, encourage, and equip them as they learn to understand how their brain works, too.

The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim

Another book that you might know better by the movie. I watched the movie years ago and forgot about it, which was a blessing as I read the book because I didn’t remember any discrepancies that irritated me. Iree read the book shortly after I did and then we rewatched the movie and noticed a few. They were, overall, forgivable, and the movie still stands as a good one. But read the book first. It is cozy and quirky in some of the same ways as The Awakening of Miss Prim, but less bookish, more of a study in human nature, and guaranteed to make you laugh out loud at least a few times.

Bandersnatch by Diana Pavlac Glyer

This book delves into the friendships, collaborations, and works of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the rest of the Inklings – how they inspired, encouraged, criticized, supported, and argued with each other, and became more of who we know them to be because of how they lived out the concept of “iron sharpening iron” in a particularly literary way. Vin, Iree, and I all read this last year and each of us loved it.

As we have seen, the Inklings provided inspiration to start new projects; offered support in times of confusion; shaped the direction of one another’s stories; criticized drafts so severely that books were abandoned; changed what they wrote in anticipation of the groups response; initiated competition that spurred their productivity; edited ragged rough drafts and polished fine ones; worked together to produce joint projects; created fictionalized characters based upon one another….And their experiences point to a much larger truth: creativity thrives in community.

– Diana Pavlac Glyer, Bandersnatch

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

I read this one last year with a group of friends, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say…it sorta kicked our butts. It wasn’t what I expected, which is ironic because this was my second time reading it. The first time was years (yeeeeears) ago, and I remember it being funny, clever, intriguing, and insightful. And this time it was all that, but deeper, more intense, and way more challenging. Maybe it’s the times we’re living in that brought up a lot more than I noticed the first time I read it. It is a study on human nature, and it is your nature that you’ll examine as you read it. But done right, it leads to more wholeness, and that’s where we want to go.

 “When He [God] talks of their losing their selves, He means only abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Money For Nothing by P.G. Wodehouse

This is a brief honorable mention which gets credit for making me laugh so hard that I made ridiculous little desperate, gasping noises because it was 1 am and I was scared of waking up the kids. The argument with the Emily the dog…Hugo catching the burglar while reciting lines from Julius Caesar…Mr. Carmody among the birds…this one’s worth trying. Just don’t blame me if you stay up too late reading and wake up your kids by laughing out loud. I already warned you.

So there you go. We’re ready for a big power outage now; we rearranged our bookshelves and dedicated my favorite little corner to our new woodstove. But if you need more book recommendations, all of our books are here. :)

P.S. Want more books, for all ages? Here’s our list.

not the same: confronting demands for conformity with love and truth

Posted on by January 26, 2023

I’ll be honest, the last post blew me away. I guess maybe the feeling was mutual.

Thank you so much for the support you’ve shown our family. Little Kav is in his hard cast and the five (!) pins are scheduled to be removed next week, when he’ll get a new cast for a few more weeks.

not the same: confronting demands for conformity with love and truth

We’ve gotten texts from friends and emails and messages from strangers offering to help and it has been super encouraging. We’ve also gotten a few (literally, a few) forwards of ignorant, rude, or outright nasty comments (from a social media platform we no longer participate in) opposing what we did.

It’s so miniscule, less than 1% of responses…or, you know, about the same as the actual danger of Covid. (Smile.)

But just for kicks because I think it’s fun (and often funny), let me tell you what they were. They all basically said the same thing, though in different ways: “Why don’t you just do/say/parent/think the way I do?”

The short answer is: Because we are not the same.

I don’t think they should have to do things the way I do. They should have a choice in how they parent their kids and make decisions for their future and their health. They should have a choice when they go to the ER to do things to protect themselves, and protecting ourselves doesn’t always look the same for everyone because we have different health histories and values. I think they should benefit from laws that are in place for patient care, and we should, too.

They apparently don’t think that. We are not the same.

Hospital staff, including security, nurses, a staff supervisor, and a surgeon, acted in direct violation of the Patient’s Bill of Rights, the Americans with Disabilities Act, HIPPA, and EMTALA, just to start, because of a “mandate.”

Quick legal review: Mandates are not laws. Laws are laws.

They were wrong. According to an email we got this morning, they’re being investigated.

They refused care to our injured three-year-old who needed emergency surgery. Defending them because of a political agenda in spite of law and basic ethics exposes some serious heart issues. If you think other people need to voluntarily relinquish both their rights as citizens and responsibilities as a parent because that fits the narrative you’ve come to believe, that’s not political. At the core, that’s a wholeness issue.

When loyalty to a job or company or person or a narrative leads to demands of others at the expense of truth, love, and justice, the result is an exposure of pride and insecurity. And those are two sides of the same coin that show up in different ways, including people pleasing, virtue signaling, narcissism, greed, selfishness, attention seeking, and cowardice.

Basically, here’s the demand: Why don’t you just give up your choice and your rights to conform, like me?

And here’s my answer: Because I’m not like you. We are not the same.

We come from different worldviews. We’re using some of the same words, but with different definitions.

For example, take the concept of responsibility. I think responsibility means being accountable for your own choices. Other people think being responsible means getting double (or triple, or whatever) jabbed for a virus that’s 99.97% safe. They think we’re irresponsible for refusing the Covid swab for our healthy toddler, even though the swabs are unreliable, have been shown to cause injury, and are being discontinued by the CDC. We are not the same.

Their definition doesn’t sound like responsibility to me; it sounds like fear. And fear is the most pandered sin in the church.

Why don’t you just do what the hospital says? Why don’t you just let them do what they want with your children? Why ask pesky questions instead of leaving your brain at the door?

I’ve been reading The Vision of the Anointed by Thomas Sowell, and he gives a great answer: “…Third-party decision making by surrogates for ‘society’ offers no a priori reason to expect a closer approximation to omniscience.”

Thomas Sowell is crazy smart, and I admit it helps to have a drink handy while reading him (I mean coffee, not wine, or don’t bother) so here’s a translation in easier English: Third parties who think they’re doing society a favor by making decisions for them are playing God, and they’re not very good at it.

“On the contrary, such surrogates not only lack the detailed and direct knowledge of the innumerable circumstances surrounding each of the millions of individuals whose decisions they are preempting, they lack the incentives of direct gain and loss from being right or wrong, and they have every incentive to persist in mistaken policies (from which they suffer little), rather than admit to being wrong (from which they could suffer much).”

– Thomas Sowell, The Vision of the Anointed

Translation: Third parties who attempt to play God not only lack the information necessary to do it right, but they tend to persist in the inevitable errors that result because those errors do not directly impact them, and admitting fault would.

Or, a quicker summary: Decisions should not be made by those who don’t have to live with the consequences and cannot be trusted to admit fault.

Why don’t you just mask, and get admitted yourself a day or three later? Why don’t you just allow experimentation and ineffective tests on your children?

Translation: Why don’t you just roll over and do everything you’re told? Why don’t you just make the same choices I would? Why don’t you just think like me?

This is only a few steps away from “Why don’t you just tell the Germans where the Jews are? Why don’t you just slap that yellow star on? Just put the sign on your window? Just take the thirty pieces of silver?”

I’m a nurse and don’t you know I’ve sacrificed so much as a frontline worker? Haven’t you seen the commercials? The heroic dance routines? Why aren’t you bowing to my revered, new celebrity status like all the other virtue signalers?

I have friends who are nurses. I love nurses. One in particular has walked closely alongside us in this situation with support and inside knowledge. But, sweetheart, moms and dads were frontline workers first. We are the first frontline when it comes to our kids. Consider that.

And my favorite: “Why didn’t you just git yer shots and protect yer kids?!”

Wait, wait, wait – the shot that doesn’t protect people from Covid can prevent toddlers from breaking their arm while sledding? Bless your heart.

If you fall into any of these camps, there’s no getting around it – you are saying that it’s okay for nurses, surgeons, and hospitals to strip patients and parents of their rights. You probably won’t like it put in those terms, but let’s be honest about it.

And if that’s the case, you probably justify it by saying you’re willing to relinquish those rights for “the good of society” because you’re convinced that society needs to be upended for a virus that’s 99.97% safe for the population — so many times safer than the normal flu we’ve lived with all our lives. If you’ve chosen to believe liars and ignore data, I can’t and won’t argue with you.

But I will point out that your decision to relinquish your rights does not obligate me or anyone else to relinquish those same rights.

My willingness to do (or not do) certain things does not obligate you to do (or not do) the same things. This works two ways, friends. You’re not being selfless or righteous if you’re demanding others to make the same decision.

And, just a warning: Whatever rights you relinquish so easily now, there will come a situation when someone tries to take something from you that you do care about.

There will. And you should think about that.

When that happens, you’ll have every right to fight for it and stand your ground.

But it might be too late. Because by then, those whose rights you’ve thrown under the bus might not be there to stand with you.

_________

P.S. Should the Lord allow, next week I plan to get back to my normal cozy, quirky writing and off this soapbox. Grab your favorite clicker pencil and put your nerd face on: Best books of 2021, coming right up.