patience with joy

Scattered books and pencils, a pile of apple cores, a closed laptop. A sheet of stickers, a ribbon, a phone drying out in a baggie of rice. Several dirty dishes and a warped weekly planner, salvaged and mangled from a coffee spill that stained it through December…in case you were wondering why the phone was drying out in the first place. This is our kitchen counter today.

Not every day is this messy, but some days are worse. Life happens here.

patience with joy: slowing down when life gets messy

I kept trying to clean it throughout the day – I put the dishes in the dishwasher, turned back around, and four art projects had magically taken their place. I gathered up pencils and books, put them away, and came back to find an abacus, a bottle of glue, and a stack of construction paper. It’s like trying to slay the hydra.

It won’t always be like this; I know these days are brief — a blink, a flick of a page. Random strangers I meet in public tell me so quite often, right after they take a head count of the half-dozen with me and say my hands are full. Yes, they’re all mine. Pray for me.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

– Colossians 1:9-10

Our baby is in kindergarten, and as she’s practicing handwriting I hear myself saying things like, Go slow, carefully, and you’ll only have to do it once. You won’t need the eraser.

The kittens, those tiny twerpedoes, are growing, but still not to be trusted when we leave the house. We lock them in our room, but it’s a tricky business because one of them thinks she’s a racehorse and the other thinks he’s a cougar, and trying to contain them both behind the door when I’m running late and in a hurry is like trying to corral lions at the Circus Berserkus. I’m not even out the door myself before at least one of them flies past me, escaping toward the stairs.

And I hear Him telling me, too: Go slow, carefully, and you’ll only have to do it once.

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 

– Colossians 1:11-12

It was when I was finishing last night’s post that I spilled the coffee – moving too fast, too late at night, too much on my mind, and the decaf went flying. It splashed over the calendar, the schedule, the to-do lists, the whole mess. It was a fitting end to a day that felt stained and darkened. I shook off the planner and scrubbed the floor while the pages soaked it all in.

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

– Colossians 1:13-14

And He’s teaching me to soak it in, too – to notice more, to pray more, to enjoy more. Be bold, Love, but with care and caution, He says. You won’t need the eraser.

The stains on the days in my planner will lessen as the weeks pass. Every week is the flick of a new page, with less stain, more sanctification, even at the Circus Berserkus.

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This is day 25 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.

about time

We finally did something we’ve been looking forward to for weeks. We’ve been waiting for fall, with its cold days and hot tea, and then waiting to finish the book we were already reading (the last one in the Borrowers series, which was sorely disappointing – boo hiss) and then waiting for a quiet afternoon between work and school hours.

about time: what we do with the days we're given

But finally, it was time. We started reading Lord of the Rings to the kids. I would fist-pump the air in enthusiasm, but that would be decidedly non-Elvish.

There were rumors of strange things happening in the world outside; and as Gandalf had not at that time appeared or sent any message for several years, Frodo gathered all the news he could.

– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

We have read it before, some of us more than once, but this is the first time all of us have read it aloud together. It is for fall – for starting in fall, at least – and then to revel in for the rest of the winter as we trek through all 1200-something pages on cold nights and snowy afternoons.

You probably know this story – the fate of Middle Earth rests on the destruction of the One Ring, and Frodo has it. He is a wealthy hobbit with a coveted home in the Shire, and he can refuse to take on the task and pass it on to someone else, or ignore all the signs and warnings and pretend life is just fine for as long as possible. But he accepts the mission (you knew that) and he goes all in – giving up his home, his community, and his comfort.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

And we wish certain things hadn’t happened in our time, also. I wish I didn’t have to explain to our kids what abortion is, what human trafficking is, why their brother acts the way he does sometimes, or why their sister has misshapen toes and FAS. There are a million different whys I wish didn’t need explaining, and a million different missions I wish didn’t need funding. I wish they didn’t need to exist. But they do.

Would it be easier to not adopt? Not to give? Not to go? Not to follow the call He’s placed on us? Yes. Honestly? Heck, yes – but only in the short term. Long term, it would lead to destruction, and that short-term ease would be dearly paid for by those who are counting on us not to shrug our shoulders.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

– Philippians 2:4-7

Oh, my friends – you who have adopted, and then adopted again, have pivoted the direction and destiny of those kids, for good, forever. You who have slept on hard beds and eaten weird foods in a strange country have changed the future of that nation by bringing hope and healing. You who have emptied an account you were saving for a vacation in order to give to the hungry and heartbroken have planted seed that will grow, proliferate, and scatter.

Jesus, I pray for Your encouragement on those who have given up home, comfort, and community. I pray for wisdom, peace, and protection from doubt and misgiving, and victory in every battle. And I pray courage into and over those whom You have called, that they would not waver in their decision between easy and eternal.

Our hands, and many of yours, are in the mud all the way to our elbows. Our hands are dirty, the grit is under our nails, and we know we weren’t called to easy. We were called to abundance.

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This is day 23 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.