about time

We finally did something we’ve been looking forward to for weeks. We’ve been waiting for fall, with its cold days and hot tea, and then waiting to finish the book we were already reading (the last one in the Borrowers series, which was sorely disappointing – boo hiss) and then waiting for a quiet afternoon between work and school hours.

about time: what we do with the days we're given

But finally, it was time. We started reading Lord of the Rings to the kids. I would fist-pump the air in enthusiasm, but that would be decidedly non-Elvish.

There were rumors of strange things happening in the world outside; and as Gandalf had not at that time appeared or sent any message for several years, Frodo gathered all the news he could.

– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

We have read it before, some of us more than once, but this is the first time all of us have read it aloud together. It is for fall – for starting in fall, at least – and then to revel in for the rest of the winter as we trek through all 1200-something pages on cold nights and snowy afternoons.

You probably know this story – the fate of Middle Earth rests on the destruction of the One Ring, and Frodo has it. He is a wealthy hobbit with a coveted home in the Shire, and he can refuse to take on the task and pass it on to someone else, or ignore all the signs and warnings and pretend life is just fine for as long as possible. But he accepts the mission (you knew that) and he goes all in – giving up his home, his community, and his comfort.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

And we wish certain things hadn’t happened in our time, also. I wish I didn’t have to explain to our kids what abortion is, what human trafficking is, why their brother acts the way he does sometimes, or why their sister has misshapen toes and FAS. There are a million different whys I wish didn’t need explaining, and a million different missions I wish didn’t need funding. I wish they didn’t need to exist. But they do.

Would it be easier to not adopt? Not to give? Not to go? Not to follow the call He’s placed on us? Yes. Honestly? Heck, yes – but only in the short term. Long term, it would lead to destruction, and that short-term ease would be dearly paid for by those who are counting on us not to shrug our shoulders.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

– Philippians 2:4-7

Oh, my friends – you who have adopted, and then adopted again, have pivoted the direction and destiny of those kids, for good, forever. You who have slept on hard beds and eaten weird foods in a strange country have changed the future of that nation by bringing hope and healing. You who have emptied an account you were saving for a vacation in order to give to the hungry and heartbroken have planted seed that will grow, proliferate, and scatter.

Jesus, I pray for Your encouragement on those who have given up home, comfort, and community. I pray for wisdom, peace, and protection from doubt and misgiving, and victory in every battle. And I pray courage into and over those whom You have called, that they would not waver in their decision between easy and eternal.

Our hands, and many of yours, are in the mud all the way to our elbows. Our hands are dirty, the grit is under our nails, and we know we weren’t called to easy. We were called to abundance.

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This is day 23 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.

 

all things for good

Last night, for the first time in two years, I stood during worship and enjoyed the full benefit of our childcare ministry. All the little kids were in their classes, and as we sang “I will fear no evil for my God is with me” my biggest distraction was trying to live that out in the moment, and not freak out about all of the potential fallout from this experiment.

all things for good: risking failure without fear

With only one exception, Andrey and Reagan have sat with us in church for two years. We attempted Sunday School classes for them when we first brought them home, quickly realized the error of our ways, and have kept them with us ever since. This, from an amazing pro-adoption church that has an incredible special needs ministry already in place. It wasn’t their fault; we just weren’t ready. But we’ve spent the last two years learning and communicating, and the last several weeks training and doing more communicating, and lo and behold: Reagan has joined class again at church. So far, so good – no fallout, no backlash. This is a huge victory.

So we went all crazy radical and let Andrey go to class, too – which leads me to the verse of the day, friends:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 

– Romans 8:28

How did it go? Let’s just say…it wasn’t a victory for him. But last night was a wonderful, safe opportunity for failure. And we learned, the staff learned, and grace abounds for each of us as we navigate the details of care and communication. Andrey learned, and consequences are swiftly applied. No class anytime in the near future, because class is for big kids who don’t use their bodily fluids to manipulate the attention and time of others.

And we’re calling it good. It works together for his good, for our good, for our church’s good, because God doesn’t waste a thing.

Not our past, not our mistakes, not our ignorance and not the sins of others – nothing is wasted. In the stewardship of heaven, it is used for good, and turned in our favor.

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We see it in Joshua. A grave mistake was made in the first battle after Jericho – one man sinned, the entire nation lost the battle of Ai, and it was a devastating follow-up to what had looked so promising after the victory at Jericho.

And yet…God. They dealt with the sin, and God sent them back to Ai. He turned the failure on its head and used it for good:

And I and all the people who are with me will approach the city. And when they come out against us just as before, we shall flee before them. And they will come out after us, until we have drawn them away from the city. For they will say, ‘They are fleeing from us, just as before.’ So we will flee before them. Then you shall rise up from the ambush and seize the city, for the Lord your God will give it into your hand.

– Joshua 8:5-7

They won the city. And the next one, and the next one, and then one king came to try to help another city against Joshua and the Israelites, but that was a bad idea because they beat him, too. On and on, until they cleared Canaan, north and south. They wiped the giants from the land.

In our lives, even small setbacks and seemingly simple errands – a missed appointment, wasting time stuck in traffic, or just dropping off a movie at the Redbox kiosk – these are details that are divinely appointed, orchestrating time and events like notes in a song that come to play in just the right moment.

His timing is perfect; He doesn’t sway His plans due to our opinion of dissonance.

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I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ.

What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.

Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance.

Phil. 1:12-13, 18-19

We know that big leaps in progress with Andrey and Reagan are often met with significant regressions in other areas – for some reason they come hand in hand, like a baby crying during a growth spurt. But in order for them to grow and experience victory, we have to risk failure, even though we will all live with the consequences from it. And He will use it for good. Shout, for the Lord has given you the city…

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For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

– Romans 8:29-30

God, tonight I’m praying for these Called Ones, that they would know the mighty vision you have for each of them and that they would step boldly out there into it, unflinching and unafraid of failure because victory is at hand.

We must risk failure without fear, knowing that dissonance is covered with the grace of a brilliant God who can handle both our mistakes and those of others. We were meant to clear the giants from the land. We were made to win the cities.

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This is day 20 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.

battleground

*This is an excerpt from Oh My Soul: Encountering God in Honest, Unconventional (and Sometimes Messy) Prayer, available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.

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You’ve probably seen the headlines, too. They’ve been pretty much the same for the past several weeks, only louder, larger, and more looming.

Ebola. ISIS. Spongy borders. Other illnesses. Other enemies.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

– Ephesians 6:12-13, ESV

battleground: standing firm in the struggle

Sometimes it’s all I can do just to keep our kids from throwing things at each other; I really have a hard time wrapping my mind around the bigger, broader issues outside my door. And I feel guilty, even, for praying for what seem to be comparatively small needs in our home when there are immensely huge things happening out there. It feels like we have to choose, and it feels urgent, and what if something tragic is happening to issue B while I’m still praying over issue A?

That’s just me. You are probably far more calm and level-headed about all this.

But I find myself slipping into this anxiety over prayer – which is really ridiculous, since that is the opposite of what prayer really does – and it takes me a while to realize that it’s just another slimy ploy of the enemy to make what is productive and powerful seem burdensome and impotent.

And that’s a lie.

Like most lies, and like most doubts, it is a half-truth.  It’s true that terrible things are happening all over the world and we can’t possibly pray over all of them at once with the proper urgency to pick them all off one at a time, as though we were playing some sort of spiritual Galaga or whack-a-mole.

But God is not limited to our time frame, either. Otherwise, He would be limited to making us take our turns so he could listen and respond to us one at a time, which sorta defeats the point of praying without ceasing.

If you picture Time as a straight line along which we have to travel, then you must picture God as the whole page on which the line is drawn. We come to the parts of the line one by one: we have to leave A behind before we get to B, and cannot reach C until we leave B behind. God, from above or outside or all round, contains the whole line, and sees it all.

– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The enemy is a liar who is afraid of God’s people praying. He will do whatever he can to convince us not to do it, which is a very good reason to do it without ceasing.

And this isn’t neat and pretty – I’ve been sick for eight days and have strict orders to get to bed before, oh, 2 am tonight – but there’s one more thing I want to share before I go there, before we wake up to more headlines in the morning, before we feel overwhelmed by the struggle. It’s from the story of Perseus in Greek mythology (and if you have qualms about studying ancient myths, please consider this and this), when he was first given a glimpse of the calling on his life, before he saved lives and slew monsters:

But to the souls of fire I give more fire, and to those who are manful I give a might more than a man’s. These are the heroes, the sons of the Immortals, who are blest, but not like the souls of clay. For I drive them forth by strange paths, Perseus, that they may fight the Titans and the monsters, the enemies of Gods and men.

– Charles Kingsley, The Heroes

Oddly, I feel that it is for us, too. We are the children of God, we are the blest, we are the souls of fire. We are those who do not shrink back.

Lord, our country is in dire need of You tonight. Give our leaders wisdom and repentance; make them go back and regain ground lost due to foolishness and error; we pray for the safety of towns and cities and homes on our borders. We pray for healing for the sick and peace for the scared. We pray for health and joy in our families and protection over our churches.

Our nations are at a pivotal moment, and your prayers – for small things, for big things – make a difference. He hears and moves because your prayer is powerful and productive. Keep going, and pray from victory, not fear. Years from now, we will look back on these days and know that we saved lives and slew monsters through relentless intercession.

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This is day 9 of Without Ceasing: 31 Days of Relentless Prayer. Find the other posts here. To get new posts right in your inbox, subscribe here.