Category Archives: miracles

trust: where we linger to find joy & wisdom

Posted on by May 6, 2026

I spent the last part of April going slowly through Philippians. Not only did this help me remember how to spell “Philippians” (notice: one L, two Ps in the middle) but it also landed me in chapter 4 for three days, which is about 1% of the time I really need to spend there.

Some chapters in life, in books, in the Word, demand us to linger.

trust: where we linger to find joy & wisdom

Philippians 4 is one of my favorites. But this time when I got toward the end of it, I argued a little with God…or, not really with God, but with my old self — my old understandings, old lies, old mentalities that have nothing to do with God, but I used to attribute them to Him. And He caught me doing it again.

We’ve been working on this for a while. And the struggle is actually progress because it means I’m no longer resistant or blind to it, but letting Him transform me.

Here’s the verse I was stuck on:

And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

— Philippians 4:19

A few things we have to ask right away: Is this verse in context? Sort of — it’s not to us (it’s to the Philippians, of course). But it is for us, demonstrating God’s unchanging character. What is it telling us? He is good. He is generous. He cares for all of His people, not just the Philippians.

So can we take this as a promise for Him? Yes.

Unless you have an old poverty mentality that rears its head and makes excuses. I did, and it did.

Our home’s heating system needs replaced and we don’t know how it will be covered, but we are trusting the Lord. He knows how it will happen, and on most days I’m not even trying to rack my brain to figure it out anymore. The good news is a) we made it through the winter, and b) now that it’s spring, we can keep the system off as much as possible. But it needs taken care of in the next four months.

When I read that verse, though, an old response popped up in my head: Maybe God doesn’t think replacing our heating system is a need.

Is that dumb? (Answer: yes.) Of course our heating system is a need; we live in Alaska. Even if we didn’t live here, it would be a need.

But the thoughts continued: What if we’re not even supposed to keep this house? We’ve been thinking of moving. Maybe God wants us to make less on the sale of this house, so we have to downsize into something smaller, uglier, boxier, with less land, gross carpet, and an obnoxious neighbor…

It sounds like the Old Responsible Religious voice, but if you listen closely you pick up on the accent and notice the snake’s hiss — the one that says God is not really as good as He says He is, and that He cannot be believed or trusted. Did God really say…?

And this is where the Lord caught me, and confronted me.

He also asked questions, and His questions are different:

Does that sound like it reflects My goodness? No.

Do those thoughts ignite fear, or trust? Fear, for sure.

Do those thoughts lead you in hope, peace, and expectation? Or do they lead you toward striving? Ahhh, striving…give me all the things to do, all the numbers to calculate, all the details to fret over. Been there, hated that, lit the ground on fire with that hamster wheel, and broke the axle.

When I realized the difference, the weight lifted. God is going to take care of this. We don’t have to figure it out; we can trust Him. He will fully satisfy every need of ours, including this one. The other thoughts had started pressing me downward in anxiety, but His correction lifted me in hope and clarity.

Did you forget you are My beloved, Love? Sit with Me, and remember.

When lies are replaced with trust, the clouds lift, the sun comes out, the air clears, and anxiety dissipates.

I could practically hear the sniveling whine as the snake scurried away, defeated at the old game he used to beat me at.

Many of us tend to default toward believing negative lies about God rather than the truth of His goodness and love for us. For some of us, the lies make us feel safe, protected from disappointment, or that we’re suffering enough to be righteous.

Sometimes, the lies are just a bad habit that needs to break.

One of the hardest adjustments during my grandma’s first month in her new home is that since she moved, she believes she is alone and people hardly ever come to see her.

It’s not true; there are always people with her and almost every day she has visitors.

But she does not remember the people, or the visits. And since she doesn’t remember them, she believes they aren’t happening. Gahhh. So instead of believing the truth (which would encourage her), she defaulted in those first weeks to believing what is negative and untrue.

Here’s the irony: She knows she is forgetting, that her mind plays tricks on her. So since she will believe something one way or the other, can we help her default instead toward the positive, lovely, and loving? We’re trying, because it’s what’s true. Even if you don’t remember, we’re here every day with you. You are so loved. We haven’t abandoned you, you’re not alone. You’re never alone. Sit with me, and remember.

When she knows she’s loved and not forgotten, she is happier, chattier, and she shares stories and dry humor. But when she thinks she’s been left desolate, she’s miserable, withdrawn, bitter, accusatory, and complaining.

This is true of us, too. When we think God has abandoned us, doesn’t care, doesn’t think our needs are important, we are tormented. But when we know we are loved, thought of, and tenderly cared for, we are much happier — and we move forward productively rather than stalling out in brooding anxiety or despair.

If the enemy can discourage us into fear, striving, or other forms of negativity, we walk in confusion and miss not only God’s goodness but also His direction and clarity. Or, let’s put those together and use the word wisdom.

Direction + clarity = wisdom. Good so far?

Now this:

The wisdom He gives us is related to our level of joy and trust. They go together, but trust drives the bus.

Happy are those who make the Lord their trust,
who do not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after false gods.

— Psalm 40:4

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
he bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts, happy is everyone who trusts in you.

— Psalm 84:11-12

The goodness of God is the lay of the land, and we need to know how to read the map. Trust is the key to understanding the legend, knowing which way is north, and recognizing pitfalls.

Happy are those who find wisdom and those who get understanding,
for her income is better than silver and her revenue better than gold.

— Proverbs 3:13-14

Those who are attentive to a matter will prosper,
and happy are those who trust in the Lord.

— Proverbs 16:20

We can surrender anxiety because He is good. Because we can trust Him. Because He is better than all our old lies, excuses, mindsets, bad teachings, bad memories, and internal and external accusations.

I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad.

O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.

— Psalm 34:1-3

Our thoughts and responses to God should be magnifying Him, not minimizing Him. There is a huge religious movement out there that’s all about minimizing Him and making it seem humble and righteous. (Spoiler: It’s not.)

Without trust we walk in fear while deluding ourselves that it’s jaded wisdom. It’s the same fear that buries the talent because we’re afraid to risk, afraid to fail, afraid to be seen as imperfect, afraid to fall because we know we’re not really able to catch ourselves, no matter how much of a front we put up for everyone to see.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

Look to him, and be radiant, so your faces shall never be ashamed.

— Psalm 34:4-5

We don’t want to be like little kids who really want to go to somewhere but in our restless impatience we make the wait miserable, asking our parents over and over and over if we’re going, when we’re going, why we’re not going yet, and then we sulk in the driveway, kicking rocks until one of them flies into the windshield.

We often delay the answer we want so badly because our distrust is sabotaging the journey.

But when we stop listening to the lies and keep our eyes on who He really is, what He really does, what He’s really said, we know that we can trust His goodness and His timing. He not only meets our every need, but also covers us with peace and joy in the meantime.

This leads us right back to the beginning of Philippians 4, and we linger here:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Let your gentleness be known to everyone.

(It is hard to be gentle when you’re freaked out and striving.)

The Lord is near.

( He is aware, and not indifferent.)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

— Philippians 4:4-7

We linger in these places of trust, knowing He is doing something in us as we wait: The pages we read, the honest conversations we have, the prayers that sometimes aren’t even articulated words so much as they are attention to the living Word who was and is and is to come.

We usually don’t see the immediate effect of these but the transaction of our time invested in faith accrues to our good, and the good of those around us. This, too, is part of trust. We know there is purpose in what He is leading us to do.

So we believe the things unseen, that He working things out for us and in us, and He is able to do what we are so very aware we cannot do on our own. The wild idea began in Him; He knows how to complete it.

And if we forget, He will sit with us until we remember.

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landmark: when the finally-suddenly is just ahead

Posted on by January 7, 2026

“Right there, that one.” Still going highway speed, the road to Grandma’s house rapidly approached on the passenger side.

Vin hit the brakes to slow down in time, and flicked the blinker. “I was looking for the sign…it’s not there anymore,” he said, making the turn.

I never look for the street sign, so I didn’t even notice it was missing. Grinning, I pointed through the cracked windshield at the Butte looming in front of us.

“It’s right there. There’s your sign.”

landmark: when the finally-suddenly is just ahead

I don’t mean to brag. The man drives us everywhere and keeps a map in his head, while I almost took out an ornamental tree the last time I made a u-turn in the library parking lot.

But this road, I know. I’ve driven it so many times I could do it with my eyes shut…figuratively, of course.

I’ve been driving it more and more, too. The plan, for now, is to take it weekly because time is flying and Grandma is 94 and things that weren’t a concern a year ago are now quite different. A year adds miles to all of us.

Meanwhile, I’ve worked my way through Numbers but got hung up in chapter 33 because it is the end of the year and that chapter seems parallel to life right now. Because ready or not, change is here, and so many other markers we thought we’d never get to.

Promises fulfilled. Breakthroughs achieved. Milestones that were always in the distance, so far off we never really thought we’d see them up close – but here they are, rapidly looming larger and larger as the safe space between us shortens.

It’s finally, suddenly. And there are no brakes for slowing this down.

So let me tell you about Numbers 33, which summarizes the Israelites’ journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. They had been slaves, and went from bondage and captivity to freedom and fulfillment. You probably know this story almost as well as you know your own, so you know it wasn’t an easy-peasy, quick trip.

Just because you’re no longer a slave doesn’t mean you suddenly know how to live in freedom.

So the Israelites, like us, had a journey to make. And Numbers 33 gives us the landmarks:

They set out from Rameses in the first month, on the fifteenth day of the first month; on the day after the Passover the Israelites went out boldly in the sight of all the Egyptians…

– Numbers 33:3

During this journey, the Israelites wrestled with the same questions we do when we’re being honest: Is obedience worth it? Can we trust God? Are we who He really says we are, and can we really do what He tells us to?

Are we willing to go where He sends us?

Some of us have been promised something before, and it didn’t turn out the way we thought it would. It took too long, or maybe we confused the middle for the end. Maybe it was super messy, and came with trial or trauma. We feel like the promise burned us and we stopped trusting.

So now when we see a new landmark of promise and fulfillment looming ahead, we hit the brakes.

Dig in our heels.

Backpedal.

We do all the metaphors because we’ve (mis)learned that promises can also feel very much like threats.

You know the story of the twelve spies; this is exactly what ten of them did. The enemy wants us to see the worst case scenario and assume that all is lost.

We should, of course, be looking at Jesus, but problems (current or potential ones) are loud and flashy and demanding. They get in our face and try to become idols, because if they can command more of our attention than we give to Jesus…well, that’s what we’re worshiping, don’t you know.

But when we know the land, know the hand of God, and understand Romans 8:28 (and the rest of scripture), we know better: All is not lost. All is gain. There is nothing the enemy can do that, when surrendered to the Lord, cannot result in our gain.

When we understand that, it’s easier to stand our ground instead of shrinking back and looking for excuses to avoid what we’re called to do.

So, friend…in this season, what are you called to do?

We have to be free from fear. If we’re afraid of the landmark looming in the distance, we won’t confront it; we’ll be ruled by it, instead. But our wild exploits are rooted in our fearless movement forward.

Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies.

Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out violence.

I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

– Psalm 27:11-13

Still though, so many things we thought were down the road are now right in front of us. We’re almost-finally-suddenly there, and so is the temptation to stall our engines or shrink back.

How many times have we sensed the “suddenly” coming, and we sabotaged it out of fear? Are we allowing God to be as big as He is – and trusting Him for all that He says – or are we making Him small and safe, in the terrain of our own choosing?

Maybe it will help to look back, and see how far we’ve come.

They set out from Pi-hahiroth, passed through the sea into the wilderness…

Look at what you’ve done: You faced the event you’d been dreading. You rose above fear and found a mantle of authority on the high ground. You confronted dishonor, you let go of betrayal, you forgave the one who repented, and you continued to love, even in new ways, the one who still doesn’t know how.

They set out from Marah and came to Elim…

You read this book and then that one, and you stumbled into a curriculum that was clearly the Lord’s design because it was not of your choosing. You learned so many lessons you never planned for, and you grew in deeper humility along with them.

They set out from Elim and camped by the Red Sea. They set out from the Red Sea and camped in the wilderness of Sin…

You had that hard conversation and made that brave confession, you learned that you could articulate those thoughts and feelings you’ve held onto for years, because you finally had a receptive audience. And you learned that the Lord is always receptive, too.

They set out from the wilderness of Sin and camped at Dophkah. They set out from Dophkah and camped at Alush.

You saved and invested, put the work in, milestone after milestone. Some of the markers are invisible to everyone but you – but you know how you carved out time to make way for a service that that no one else would see.

They set out from Alush and camped at Rephidim, where there was no water for the people to drink.

When you didn’t see the answer or the provision, you waited and it came. No, it didn’t look at all like you thought it would, but it came.

They set out from Rephidim and camped in the wilderness of Sinai.

You learned about balancing graciousness with firmness, and discerned between overlooking mistakes and confronting sin. Wisdom has taught you more about which concerns should be shared and which should stay private and prayed about. And you’ve gotten better at magnifying righteousness, instead of venting frustrations and giving the enemy the satisfaction of having volume added to his harassment.

Look at how you’ve grown, how far you’ve come. Look at what He’s done.

He reached down from on high; he took me;
he drew me out of mighty waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a broad place;
he delivered me because he delighted in me.

– Psalm 18:16-19

Can you believe it? Look back and see all the landmarks you’ve made it through, all the posts you held, all the places you stopped to build an altar and worship. A little wonder and amazement is called for.

He has been training us to take the land, drive out idolatry, expand the Kingdom, root out lies and deception, heal trauma, free the captives, and prepare the way of the Lord. We’ve learned that we have to start with the land in our own hearts first, because if we are still living as captives, we cannot free anyone else.

Toward the end of Numbers 33, there’s this little phrase in verse 54: “according to your ancestral tribes you shall inherit.” They, of course, were talking about boundaries of the land of each tribe, but there’s truth here for us, too.

According to your family culture (the way you hold your charge, the way you bear your calling, what you invest in, focus on, attend to, and cultivate)…you will inherit.

Our lives – and what our children will inherit from us – are wrapped up in these promises and how we follow Him into them.

We want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end, so that you may not become sluggish but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

– Hebrews 6:11-12

His goodness is the lay of the land – and you don’t need a sign if you’re familiar with the territory. You just need to know the landmarks.

He has been, and will continue to be, before and behind us.

He is leading, but He is also coming.

And He’s teaching us to prepare the way for it.

for the one who is tired & heartsick & wondering if things will get better

Posted on by August 28, 2025

Or, Grit…chapter 2.

Don’t stop praying for that thing you’re tempted to give up on.

The Lord doesn’t put good desires in your heart to tease you, but to show you where you’re going. Intercede for someone else while you wait, and use this time to bring life elsewhere, too.

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

— Proverbs 11:25

He’s not impatient or annoyed by you constantly asking Him if you’re doing it right. He’s not shaking His head and tsk-ing, wishing you’d get your act together and stop bugging Him. He’s a good, good Father. He loves your heart that continues to press forward in obedience and surrender, especially when you don’t know what it’s exactly supposed to look like or how things will turn out.

You can trust Him to tell you what you need to know when you ask. And you can trust Him to give you what you need when you ask, too.

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

— Luke 11:10-13

The Lord is still shining on your situation. It might seem like it’s taking too long and you’ve almost given up hoping and praying and watering and expecting, but your answer is on the cusp of blooming. Do not cut it down too early. Don’t give up on tending it. He is putting things in order, and answers, solutions, and breakthrough might start unfolding faster than you can believe.

Maybe you thought you would be further by now. You’ve been in bud for so long, just waiting and waiting, almost to the point you’ve wondered if you’re running out of time. What if there’s not enough summer left? What if winter comes too soon? And why does it even matter, if by all rights you should’ve been in full bloom eons ago, and here you still are, waiting?

Are you just bad at blooming? No.

Are you destined to stay folded up and hidden? No.

Is it God’s will for you to be unhappy, because He loves you very much and has a miserable plan for your life? No.

You are not too late. You’re not bad at this. God has joy ahead that would make you laugh at your concerns if you could see it right now.

It feels dark, frustrating, and unrewarding out there some days. You work and work and work and wait, and hope a little, and look…but nope, it’s not there yet, so you start all over again, still not seeing the fruit of your labors.

But something’s happening underneath. It really is. We’ll see it soon. Hang in there.

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

— 1 Corinthians 15:57-58

This is chapter 2 of Grit: Kindling to Relight the Wounded and Weary.