for the one who is tired & heartsick & wondering if things will get better

Or, Grit…chapter 2.

Don’t stop praying for that thing you’re tempted to give up on.

The Lord doesn’t put good desires in your heart to tease you, but to show you where you’re going. Intercede for someone else while you wait, and use this time to bring life elsewhere, too.

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

— Proverbs 11:25

He’s not impatient or annoyed by you constantly asking Him if you’re doing it right. He’s not shaking His head and tsk-ing, wishing you’d get your act together and stop bugging Him. He’s a good, good Father. He loves your heart that continues to press forward in obedience and surrender, especially when you don’t know what it’s exactly supposed to look like or how things will turn out.

You can trust Him to tell you what you need to know when you ask. And you can trust Him to give you what you need when you ask, too.

For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

— Luke 11:10-13

The Lord is still shining on your situation. It might seem like it’s taking too long and you’ve almost given up hoping and praying and watering and expecting, but your answer is on the cusp of blooming. Do not cut it down too early. Don’t give up on tending it. He is putting things in order, and answers, solutions, and breakthrough might start unfolding faster than you can believe.

Maybe you thought you would be further by now. You’ve been in bud for so long, just waiting and waiting, almost to the point you’ve wondered if you’re running out of time. What if there’s not enough summer left? What if winter comes too soon? And why does it even matter, if by all rights you should’ve been in full bloom eons ago, and here you still are, waiting?

Are you just bad at blooming? No.

Are you destined to stay folded up and hidden? No.

Is it God’s will for you to be unhappy, because He loves you very much and has a miserable plan for your life? No.

You are not too late. You’re not bad at this. God has joy ahead that would make you laugh at your concerns if you could see it right now.

It feels dark, frustrating, and unrewarding out there some days. You work and work and work and wait, and hope a little, and look…but nope, it’s not there yet, so you start all over again, still not seeing the fruit of your labors.

But something’s happening underneath. It really is. We’ll see it soon. Hang in there.

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

— 1 Corinthians 15:57-58



This is chapter 2 of Grit: Kindling to Relight the Wounded and Weary.

be still and know: how we find certainty in the deep end

The more we know, the more we realize how little we know. And this is both good and bad: It’s great for humility, curiosity, and continued growth, but it’s not always so good when you actually are right but you doubt yourself.

be still and know: how we find certainty in the deep end || Shannon Guerra at Copperlight Wood

For example, a few weeks ago when we were helping friends move, we pulled into a storage facility right as some other people were leaving. The security gate was open to let us in, and then it closed behind us.

We drove across all the rows of storage units, and…our friends weren’t there.

“They said it’s the one by the church, right?” Yep, that’s what they said…but we’re smart enough to know that there are things we don’t always know, which means this might not be the only storage facility near the church.

Maybe, after we got separated along the road, they went to some other place we’re not aware of, because no one else in our party – which was originally a convoy of six or seven vehicles, including a giant U-Haul – were there.

We pulled back up to the closed gate and waited for the sensor to kick in.

Buuut there was no sensor.

Instead, there was a code box for customers…and we weren’t customers.

Visions of passing Sunday afternoon locked in a storage yard with five kids flashed through my mind. Fortunately, the sign had the company’s phone number on it, so I called that while Vince called our friend to let him know our situation.

My call went straight to voicemail.

“Hi, we’re helping some friends move,” I began, “but we must’ve gone to the wrong storage facility–”

Vin, on the phone with our buddy: “Hey! We pulled into the storage place but–”

Me: “– the gate was open when we got here because some people were leaving, but then it shut behind them–”

“–uh huh…yeah, no, we’re here–”

“– and we don’t have the code to get out, so we’re stuck inside. If you could call me back AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, my name is Shannon and my number is 907–”

“They’re on their way,” Vin said, hanging up. “They missed the turn.”

” – what? Wait, they’re coming? OHHhhh – Okay, nevermind, disregard, this is the right place and our friends are on the way, thankssomuchhaveagreatdaybye.” It’s fine, we’re fine, please don’t call the cops, etcetera, etcetera.

Moral? You can be right but still think you’re wrong because you’re early, or you’re alone, or everyone else is wrong, or you’re afraid, or a million other reasons.


When we know enough to know we don’t know everything we need to know (kudos if you don’t have to read that at least twice), it can be a little intimidating. Inhibiting. Unnerving.

In seasons of deep growth, we realize more than ever that there are so many people who already know what we need to know. In any given situation, there are people who can do this better. Who have the right answers, and all the training. Who don’t make things awkward, or aren’t accidentally rude (sigh), or had polished beginnings that make our raw edges seem to stand out all the more.

We feel over our heads in the deep end, but Jesus is asking for trust and intimacy, not impressive performance. Not back up plans, not fail-safe programs. Not our know-it-all, I’ve-got-this, watch-what-I-can-do mentalities.

We like those things, because they puff us up and make us look good. But we’ve got some dying to the flesh to do.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but wisdom is with the humble.

– Proverbs 11:2

So we have to know enough to know that we don’t know everything.

But also, and just as important:

We have to remember that the Lord tells us what we need to know when we ask Him.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

– James 1:5

Do we really believe that, though? Because here’s the next part, and it’s where we tend to get hung up:

But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

– James 1:6-8

Well, great, what does that say for us? I thought this was the right place…but no one else is here…and I must’ve got it wrong somehow.

But no, that’s not doubting or double-mindedness. The “doubting” referred to in that verse is not condemnation for not knowing something, or being confused, or having a misunderstanding, or getting the rug pulled out from under you.

It doesn’t mean we always have to be certain about everything. God already knows we don’t have all the answers; that’s why we’re asking in the first place.

In the original Greek, the word for doubting here is diakrinó, and we learn more about it when we look at the root words it’s made from: dia, which means “through,” and krino, which means “to judge.” So you could say that this doubting is “through our own judgment” – or, arguing with God because we think we know better.

Here’s how it goes: We don’t know, so we ask, and He answers.

That seems like a simple flow chart, pretty straightforward.

But we tend to get muddled in the “He answers” part, because that’s where the flow chart forks into two options: We either believe Him and act on what He said, or we doubt Him – diakrinó – and argue.

Because we do hear His answers, but sometimes before we have a chance to put our pants on and act on them, the enemy hisses into our ears, and it’s the same thing he said in the very beginning.

“Did God really say…?”

And we start to have doubts.

Did I really hear God? Was that really Him?

Is He really that good? Is the answer really that simple? That full of joy? That much of a relief?

Or, just as often:

But I don’t want to ______ (wait, move forward, obey, abstain, be alone, whatever).

It’s too _______ (hard, radical, uncomfortable, soon, expensive, whatever).

That must not have been Him.

And there we are, a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind, double-minded and unstable in every way.

In this case, we must not expect to receive anything from the Lord because He already gave it to us but we said, “Ehhh, I don’t think so, no thanks.”


But also, sometimes we start to act on what He said, but then circumstances shift and we question the original plan.

After a year of no broody hens, our darling Uno has decided at the very end of summer that she wants to hatch chicks again. It’s not the best time for it, especially in Alaska, because our winters usually start around mid-October. So I searched “broody hen in fall” and scoured the internet for answers.

And the consensus from chicken keepers all over, including cold climates, said Yes, go for it.

But still, this is Alaska. So I prayed some more, hemmed and hawed, and discussed with the husband and kids. We all agreed, sure, let’s do this. Uno and her eggs would need to be moved to a more protected coop, but we’ve done that before, no biggie.

We didn’t know, so we asked, and got answers. Easy peasy.

And then we moved Uno…and she threw an absolute fit.

Refused to sit on the eggs. Tried to rush us to get out of the new space. Clucked and scratched and rolled in the dirt. Poked her head through the fence to make faces at the other hens.

She totally diakrinó-ed, like she forgot that this is what she wanted in the first place.

Meanwhile, the warm eggs sat in the neglected nest, getting cooler by the minute.

I wavered, and second guessed, and did a little diakrinó-ing of my own while I watched her fuss: Should we have moved her so soon? Maybe we should’ve put her in the other spot. Or used the other box. Or left her for a few more days. Or, or, or…anything, because this doesn’t seem to be working.

But no, I remembered. We clearly heard Yes, do this, and we knew she had to be moved. She couldn’t stay where she’d been because it wasn’t a safe place to hatch chicks. And we couldn’t move her to the other place she brooded in last year because it wouldn’t be warm enough in the fall.

The Lord knows this hen and this process better than we do. We can trust Him. And we can remember that just because things don’t look like they’re working, it doesn’t mean they actually aren’t working. They’re just still working out.


So, how do we know what’s from the Lord, and what isn’t? How can we be certain?

We have to know Who we’re dealing with. When we know Him, we recognize Him. And when we look toward Him, we become like Him.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another, for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit.

– 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

When we know Who He is, we know better who we are. And as we abide, we remember that we have the mind of Christ and can know the things we need to know, and can reject the things that are beneath us.

But be doers of the word and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like.

But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing.

– James 1:22-25

Wouldn’t we like to be blessed in our doing? We have to act on what we hear, and persevere.

God is instilling in us the faith to walk in a little uncertainty and discomfort without doubting Him. When we obey and persevere, we can handle the tension that comes between our act of obedience and the fruit it eventually bears.

This is how we can be still and know.

After about 40 minutes – longer than I’d like, but not really that long in the scheme of things – Uno finally settled on her eggs. I peeked in on her, and she had knocked over the food and kicked dirt in her water and made a general mess of things, but she was sitting on those eggs like it was her great mission. (Which it is.) We both made it through the doubting and arguing and trusting our own judgment, and settled into trusting the Lord for a nest of chicks in fall.


Can I throw one more wrench in the works here? One of the biggest reasons we doubt – or argue with God – is because we’re actually afraid of what we want.

Often, we’re afraid of freedom.

Here’s what that might look like:

  • Fear of healing because it changes our routines, what we’re used to, and how we (and others) see us
  • Fear of Jesus following through with His word and promise
  • Fear that it’s “just what we want” and not really what God wants to give us
  • Fear of what the Lord will ask us to do in return, as though we’re making a deal with the devil – and oooh, do you see how deceptive that is?
  • Fear that we’ll get in trouble if we rock the boat instead of maintaining the status quo

…so it feels safer to doubt God’s voice. Our judgment is better than God’s judgment because He’s really not as good as the Word says He is (but we would never say it that way, of course).

We know what we’re already dealing with and we can just live with it. We don’t know what change might bring, or if we can handle that – and if we’re honest, that’s because we’re not trusting God in any of it. We are afraid, so we hang onto control instead of letting go in surrender.

If you recognize yourself in any of these thoughts, it’s time to examine where those thoughts come from.

Not all thoughts are our own thoughts. Something flies into our head, and we think it’s our thought because it sounds like our voice, therefore it must be from inside us…right? But we’re horrified by some of what we hear, not knowing the depths of where those thoughts come from.

But no, they’re not all from us. Many of them – particularly the ones that contradict the things we know and leave us feeling confused and double-minded in their wake – are planted by the enemy, attempting to get us to make agreements with him.

He whispers, “God doesn’t love you” and even though we know that’s not true, we wonder if it is…and the more we wonder, the more we slide out of truth and into agreement with the enemy. He sneers, “God doesn’t want to give you that” or “God’s mad at you” or “That’s too good for you” or any other statement that rejects God’s truth and goodness.

We can recognize these counterfeit thoughts by the instability and confusion they bring. I know this is wrong; why am I thinking it? Or, I know this to be true; why am I having such a hard time believing it? Because the enemy wants you to. We have to learn to identify and filter out those attacks, to take every thought captive. And we do that by knowing which spirit we’re dealing with.

It doesn’t mean we always have to be certain about everything. It just means we have to be certain about God, and His goodness.

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would approach God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

– Hebrews 11:6

When we’re in over our heads, we want our default to be trust and intimacy, not insecurity and performance. Because when our default is corrected, we move forward in boldness and peace.

We have to remember what we heard in the first place. We have to remember that the Lord tells us what we need to know when we ask Him.

He really does.

God is offering us freedom in the areas we’ve learned to be rigid, restricted, lazy, inhibited, intimidated, and stifled.

When we trade those in for His freedom, we have the margin to be disciplined in the ways He actually wants us to be, which brings joy and beauty and order, rather than the empty pride of a checked-off box or feeling of superiority.

The old flesh is dying off, and we find life underneath it.



This post is also available for free as a short study that you can use for journaling, or small groups, or with a friend. You can print the short 2-page version with just the questions, or the expanded version (8 pages) which includes the post broken into four parts with the appropriate questions for each section.



P.S. Want more on this? Here’s a related post — If you’re finding yourself a little (or a lot) over your head in all new terrain, unsure of what you’re doing or how you’re doing it, I have good news for you: This is where God increases our capacity. Read, or catch the audio here.

making the cut: dedicating our life’s fabric to Him

It’s that time again. Meaning, it’s been a couple years since I last repaired it, and once again our cats have littered our duvet with several tears from their cute little claws.

And because sometimes I go out of my way to make a simple solution more complex, rather than just sewing it with the machine like I did the last time, I thought it would be brilliant to make some gorgeous scrappy patches for it, à la Pinterest.

The method: Determine color scheme. Gather fabric scraps. Waste time perusing the internet for ideas, under the guise of research.

And finally, pick up a piece of grey cotton, and hold the scissors against it.

Angle the scissors this way and that. Try to imagine the finished shape I’m going for.

Hem and haw, uncertain.

Aaaaand I’m stalling, doing nothing…and I realize I’m actually afraid to cut into the fabric.

Why? It’s just a small piece of unused material. It’s not like I’m ruining anything if I make a mistake.

But no, making a cut means a tiny bit of commitment. It means I’m officially starting this project. And it means the possibility of error, of ending up with something I don’t like, of eventually tossing these efforts into the trash bin.

And that’s the real crux of my hesitation.

I’m afraid to make this cut because I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m afraid it will be ugly, that it will be a waste of fabric, time, attention.

Holy Spirit corrects me: It’s not a waste. It’s never a waste. It’s how the process works, and you are learning.

And hey, Love…you’re making it out of scraps, anyway.

He’s right, of course. This is a project pulled together from scraps of material, worked on in scraps of time.

And the first try is ugly. A mess. Wrong stitches, wrong placements.

But this is how we learn: By trying. By making the cut.

Part of the problem was that my cuts were too small, too safe, too conservative. I was trying to not use too much fabric or make the pieces too big.

Why do we do this? The Lord offers freedom and gives us so much creative material to use. But whether it’s perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking, or fear of what others will think, we often hesitate and hold back, entertaining all the wrong what ifs.

But why are we afraid to waste what is already dedicated to burn?

For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

– Galatians 2:19-20

If we have really laid ourselves down, determined to die to self and let Him be Lord and live through us, why do we keep trying to jump off the altar? Why do we keep trying to determine how hot the fire gets, and to control the burning?

Maybe we use the phrase “making the cut” in the wrong way. We think it means approval, that we’re allowed to stay in the game, that we’re good enough. And that’s the problem right there.

In Jesus, we already have approval. We’re already in the game. He has made us good enough, because it was never about us being able to meet a particular standard.

It’s always been about Jesus being the standard.

So really, making the cut is about our willingness to move forward in that freedom. We invest the talent, the time, the materials, the effort. We risk the unknown outcomes, and lay down our desire to be seen as flawless and infallible, rather than burying ourselves safely where we don’t even accrue interest.

Will we mess up? Yes!

Will Jesus be shocked, dismayed, and disappointed? No.

We make something beautiful by daring to try. We may not start perfectly – we might need to undo, redo, and repent. But we use it all, our whole life, and we don’t hold back to preserve what’s meant to revert to dust anyway.

And then we find that instead of a stifled lifestyle that ties us up in knots of stress and perfectionism and anxiety, focused on self-preservation and lack, we are walking in Kingdom culture. Our lives breathe the Kingdom in vulnerability and discernment as we are willing to risk honesty and transparency with others.

Can I ask…where have you been hesitating? To what material have you been holding the scissors to, afraid to make the cut? And what is the fear you’re fighting? If you can identify it, you can move forward faster.

I’d love to hear your thoughts if you need help untangling this; just reply to this email.


Personally, Vin and I have made several “cuts” in the last few weeks as the Lord has brought clarity and certainty to us about a shift we’ve been sensing. We’ve arranged meetings and asked for advice and counsel. We’ve said things out loud that surprised us. And it’s all been good – don’t panic, I’m not getting ready to drop a scandalous announcement – but it has also pressed us (at least, me) into a new level of bold surrender.

Are you ready for a soft announcement?

We’re moving toward full-time ministry, which means we are also moving into being fully donor-supported. Still writing, still sharing, but with less paywalls and prices. Less business, more availability for the needs God is putting right in front of us…whether they are local or in our inbox.

We are using it all, our whole life, to help people live out Kingdom culture, deep and wide.

He himself granted that some are apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.

— Ephesians 4:11-13

As a result, we’re even more focused on wholeness and healing, and we’re asking for monthly partnerships to help us do the work of expanding Kingdom culture, so we can still do other exciting things like pay the mortgage and buy groceries.

Many of you already support us through monthly or yearly subscriptions, and we’re so grateful for you. If you’d like to increase that giving or become a monthly supporter, you can mail donations to our address below, or donate through Buy Me A Coffee or Zelle (our email there is contact@vinceguerra.com). We’re still fleshing this out and will have more info to share soon….thanks so much for helping us make this cut.

To anticipate one question: We are not (and won’t be) a non-profit, and we will continue saying whatever God leads us to, whether the government or other entities like it or not.

As for the duvet, I’m just handstitching it. Forget Pinterest. :)

Praying for you,

Shannon
P.O. Box 298086
Wasilla, AK 99629

P.S. This was a fabulous little message about overthinking.

P.P.S. Grit is going to be available in paperback next month! You can pre-order it here and they’ll ship on August 19th.