Category Archives: prayer

making history: how our relationships change the world

Posted on by July 7, 2025

Since it’s summertime, showers and baths around here – for the boys, at least – have mostly been replaced with garden hoses, water fights, and the kiddie pool. But we finally put our foot (feet?) down, and told the boys they needed to actually get in a real bathing facility to scrub their hair.

Groans, protests, picketing with signs.

“You know, the water in the hose is really warm,” Vin said. “They really could just wash their hair outside…if I hold the hose for them.”

I made a face, imagining streaks of unrinsed shampoo down their legs.

“They could use baking soda,” I thought out loud. “You know, get their hair wet, sprinkle the baking soda on, let it sit for a few minutes, rinse it out. Easy.” I’ve been doing this for months with great success, but was pretty sure the boys would balk at it.

But no, boys are full of surprises.

“They have agreed to the baking soda and hose procedure,” Vin announced.

“Can’t wait for their reaction when you tell them it’s called the ‘no poo’ method.”

But I never heard the reaction because Vin took care of the boys’ showers. It was one of the last of many big and small tasks we’d been knocking off a list in preparation for a momentous event in our marriage and family:

Vince and I were going away, just the two of us, for the first time in…like, ever.

making history: ow our relationships change the world

For the record, since some of you remember, we did have that one trip in 2017 which was two days of work and ministry banked by red-eye flights.

At the time, someone I considered a close friend squealed in excitement, “I’m so glad you’re finally getting a vacation!” It was eye opening to realize how clueless some of our closest friends still were about our family, mission, and lifestyle at the time, and ironic, too, considering that the purpose of that visit was to communicate such things to a larger audience. (News flash: Media interviews are not vacation-y.) I still don’t understand why 48 hours of flying and appointments for a special needs adoptive couple should be the equivalent of the same kind of rest and reprieve as two weeks on the beach for her or anyone else, but I digress.

So anyway, that doesn’t count.

Also in full disclosure, there were those adoption trips in 2012…which also weren’t romantic vacations…and there was that one time in a galaxy far, far away, back when we only had three kids (was that even us?!) when a dear friend stayed with them, and Vin and I stayed at a cabin for a night. That was sometime before 2009, not sure when.

If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh, but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit.

So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all and especially for those of the family of faith.

– Galatians 6:8-10

So it’s been a while. And if you know us in person you’ve probably heard us joke about our lame dates over the last couple years because most of our outings together have been to meetings, funerals, and the courthouse. But those were huge, freeing steps in and of themselves. It meant we could go somewhere alone together, which was something that rarely happened from 2012 to 2023ish.

Thus, when a couple months ago a friend at church offered us his family B&B for a weekend this summer, we were a little aghast. Really? Without the kids? (He said we could bring them or not, and we chose Not.)

This was definitely an upgrade from our historically lame dates: Two days alooooone at a beautiful lakeside home. No work, no ministry, no kids, no appointments. We weren’t going far, but we weren’t going to be within screaming distance, either.

Astonishing. Miraculous. And honestly, a little unnerving.

I am a happy homebody hermit (maybe we should trademark that) who loves our rooms and walls and acre of land. Garden, books, knitting, cats. What else do I need?

At least, this is what I told myself.

I mean, it’s true, but also…well, we’ll get there.

Over a year ago two of our favorite adults offered to watch the kids for us sometime, so now we had an opportunity to take them up on it. They came to our house, we went through instructions and routines, we hugged, we left. Drove off. Picked up food. Found the place. Unloaded our bags. Left our worries at the door.

Within thirty minutes, someone texted us about poop.

And I thought to myself, This is why we needed this.

A few more necessary texts, plus a phone call with more explicit protocol (because “How To Deal With Pooptastrophes” was not part of our initial orientation), and then we left the worries at the door. I think we actually sort of shoved them out kicking and screaming, and bolted the door behind them.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s the obvious question: How many books did we bring?

Fourteen, my friend. Plus our Bibles, and a notebook each.

Out of those fourteen books, I’m thrilled to tell you that three of them were by Wodehouse because I have finally roped Vin into reading them. Every time I heard him laugh, I felt deep gratification because he loves them as much as I do and I TOLD HIM SO.

We sat out in the sun, turning pages, drinking coffee out of unfamiliar (but beautiful) mugs and sitting in unfamiliar (but super comfortable) chairs, while tiny bits of friendly cotton floated through the air.

I should tell you that when our friend offered this, I was so touched by his generosity and thoughtfulness, but I didn’t have any wild expectations. I thought, Wow, what a gift. A couple days away is definitely something we should take advantage of.

I was not thinking, I bet this place will be stunningly beautiful and change the way I look at rest and hospitality forevermore.

But it did. It added light and color to other dreams we’ve had and held onto.

A reset occurred as we sat on unfamiliar furniture and ate out of unfamiliar dishes. The shape of this mug is different from any of ours at home, let’s try it. This couch is like ours, but so much deeper and roomier. At home, most of our drinking glasses are recycled jars. But at the B&B, not so much.

I felt a shift in my heart and perspective just in being in different rooms and having the space to let my own thoughts broaden out. Any new experience can bring a leveling up, of sorts, especially when our own routines have been so steady for so long. And I love our routines. (Most of them, at least…not the pooptastrophe protocol, of course.) But a breath of newness is good, too.

Less than 48 hours later we packed up, and in some ways it felt like weeks had passed but in others it was like only minutes had gone by. The weather that morning was bland – not dramatic rain and thunder like the first night, not sunny and breezy like the full day in between – but pale, reserved, grey, stiff upper lip, nice-to-meet-you-but-we-shouldn’t-get-so-attached-now-that-you’re-leaving, and so on.

The end of all things is near; therefore be serious and discipline yourselves for the sake of your prayers. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Like good stewards of the manifold grace of God, serve one another with whatever gift each of you has received. Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. To him belong the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

– 1 Peter 4:7-11

What else do we need? Perspective, and space. Those of us who tend toward stillness need to move around a little to go wide, and those who tend toward restlessness need the margin to be still, and go deep.

And we need friends who see things differently, who see us differently than we see ourselves, who validate things that we pooh-pooh, who recognize needs (and wants!) that we would put off or deny ourselves.

Try this. Look at this. Sit here. Look out there. You’ve gone deep for so long in the same place; it’s time to move a little wider.

How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy that we feel before our God because of you? Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you face to face and restore whatever is lacking in your faith.

Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus direct our way to you. And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, just as we abound in love for you. And may he so strengthen your hearts in holiness that you may be blameless before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.

– 1 Thessalonians 3:9-13

When you have room to breathe, you suddenly realize how long you’ve been holding your breath, and how much you’ve craved a little more oxygen.

Since those two days — about ten days ago as I type this — I’ve forgotten about my phone more times than I can tell you. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and forget where I put it the night before. That, too, was oxygen I’ve needed.

Why did our friend give us this gift? Because we’ve been praying for him. And because he, too, knows how to minister.

Now there are varieties of gifts but the same Spirit, and there are varieties of services but the same Lord, and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone.

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of powerful deeds, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are activated by one and the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses.

– 1 Corinthians 12:4-11

The Sunday after we got back, we combined congregations with another local church. The sermon was about how we live in community and care for each other, and it was given by the other church’s pastor, who is also our daughter’s boss. He didn’t recognize us but I’ve known his wife for years because before we adopted, in that galaxy far, far away, we were involved in our local pregnancy center, and she’s the director of it.

“You are my favorite writer,” she said as we hugged, confirming her as one of my favorite readers, too.

They sat to the left of us in the same row. In the row in front of us was another friend I met in those pregnancy center days; it’s been seventeen years. And right behind us, the friend we’ve known for less than a year who blessed us with the B&B. Hands up, worshiping together.

It is he whom we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone in all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil and strive with all the energy that he powerfully inspires within me…. I want their hearts to be encouraged and united in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding and have the knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

– Colossians 1:28-29, 2:2-3

We see and serve each other, and this is how we make history. We change the world by caring for each other, in whatever way God has gifted us.

Do we get it wrong sometimes? Absolutely, yes, sometimes our efforts go amiss. We say the wrong thing, we misunderstand each other. But we continue trying as we abide and obey, offering the gifts we carry.

I, therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace: there is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.

But each of us was given grace according to the measure of Christ’s gift….He himself granted that some are apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.

– Ephesians 4:1-7, 11-13

A community has history, but our relationships build and bond in making history. It’s not only about time lapsing through years, but in investing in each other, which just takes moments of attention. And as we attend to each other, we protect each other from dying of exposure, or from stifling in too much crowding and chaos.

I was thinking of you…you guys said one of your favorite things was reading on the couch on the weekends…my family has this place, I would love to give you a weekend away…

What happens when we love those we live with, and care for those we worship with? We bring oxygen, and allow space, and give perspective. We change lives, our own and others.

It is a big world and a small world, and the Lord has hemmed us in to worship and make history together.

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I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

– Ephesians 3:16-19

clear the room: how worship changes the atmosphere around us

Posted on by May 9, 2025

After about four years, I still don’t have a great relationship with our wood stove. Because of our home’s configuration, the stovepipe veers horizontally out the exterior wall before going up again, and this jog creates issues. If the fire isn’t prepped right (more on this in a minute) the smoke floats out of the vents and fills the house, rather than going pleasantly up the chimney like it’s supposed to.

So when the kids ask if we can light the wood stove, I generally put them off. Not this weekend, maybe another time, I don’t really want to suffocate on smoke right now. Let’s save it for an emergency power outage in winter, okay?

clear the room: how worship changes the atmosphere around us

Right, like that’s the perfect time to open the windows to air out the house. In the middle of winter on those really cold days, the temperature rises to 2 above in the sun. If someone opens the door, frosty air billows in and visibly rolls across the floor…so that’s definitely not when we want to open all the windows to clear the smoke out.

But now that it’s May, it is the perfect time to mend my relationship with the wood stove. I want to be storm ready, and maintain a cozy atmosphere in every part of the year. So we need to be in the habit of prepping the wood stove, which entails preheating the back area of it with a mini blowtorch – maybe you can see why I’ve been stubborn about this, because the irony of needing to preheat a wood stove annoys me for some reason – so the air gets warm enough to rise up the pipe and create a current strong enough to push past that sideways jog. It’s just basic science. (But also, annoying.)

When the fire is lighted in the fireplace, the air contained in the chimney is warmed, becomes lighter, and rises. The hotter the air and the higher the column of heated air, the more powerfully it rushes upward.

– Jean-Henri Fabre, The Secret of Everyday Things

I was thinking about this last Sunday, about the atmosphere we create – or rather, partner with God and others in creating – as we worship. The songs, the prayer, the attention goes up…or they’re supposed to, at least.

At the same time that the hot air rises, cold air, which is heavier, flows toward the fireplace, accelerates combustion, becomes warm in its turn, and joins the ascending column…To this incessant flow of air through the fireplace we give the name ‘draft.’

– Jean-Henri Fabre, The Secret of Everyday Things

Our attention toward Jesus creates the momentum of a current. My eyes are on Him, your eyes are on Him, the smoke rises. The room is warmer, vision is clearer.

But our distraction – wondering what others think of us, what our kids or other people are doing, wondering how we sound or when the song will be over – is cold air that blows attention sideways and down, disrupting the draft and pulling smoke into the room, distracting us and others.

In that case, we choke and stifle on what God is wanting to do. Rather than joining in with the worship that is actively and always occuring, we hold back…and in so doing, we hold others back, too.

Maybe I sang too loud. She’s clapping off rhythm. I hate clapping. Ugh, this song again. If our attention isn’t vertical, it’s sideways.

This cold air necessarily lessens the draft by mixing with the hot air and lowering its temperature, or it can even blow smoke back into the room.

– Jean-Henri Fabre, The Secret of Everyday Things

And it’s not just worship during church services, but in our everyday abiding we also create a current and shift the atmosphere. Our spouses, kids, and coworkers know when our attention is directed upwards.

[Exhausted Parents. Photography by Kavanagh, age 6]

Over the years, especially in hard seasons, I’ve noticed with my kids that if I’m in a funk, they follow. Or, if they are dwelling in gloom or malaise and I’m not attuned to it, I follow them and get sucked into it, too – thus abdicating my leadership in setting the atmosphere.

On those really difficult days I have to find small things to strengthen the draft, like drinking a few gulps of water, memorizing a short verse, washing a couple dishes. Picking up a tiny area. It’s how Holy Spirit taught me to retake authority, take back the land, in small increments at a time. We redirect our attention to what He is doing and what He wants to do – often in creating beauty and order – and the smoke starts to clear again.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

– Philippians 4:8

We make room for Him. The thorns, cares, and distractions of the world are clutter in our minds that overflow around us, choking out space, focus, and simplicity. So we surrender them: Lay them on the altar, let them pass through the fire. Some can be picked up again after our vision has cleared and we know what to do with them, and others need to burn entirely.

This is how we redirect the current upward, and clear the air, the congestion, the smoke in our eyes that prevents us from seeing.

So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

– Colossians 3:1-3

Ephesians 4 puts it this way:

…to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

– Ephesians 4:22-24

The things we’re stubborn about can get in our way and prevent us from creating the environment we really want and were made to live in. So we burn the old, earthly things so they can no longer stir up the current and blow smoke around, and thus we clear the room:

Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry). On account of these the wrath of God is coming on those who are disobedient. These are the ways you also once followed, when you were living that life. But now you must get rid of all such things: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth.

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.

– Colossians 3:5-10

Ephesians 4 parallels that, and gives us more heat to draw the current upward:

So then, putting away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with your neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.

Those who steal must give up stealing; rather, let them labor, doing good work with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths but only what is good for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

– Ephesians 4:25-32

I know this is a ton of scripture. But Ephesians is on one side of the room and Colossians is on the other, and both are shouting the same refrain: Make room and prepare the way of the Lord.

They praise God from one wall to the other, proclaiming the atmosphere we’re made to cultivate and walk in:

Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

– Colossians 3:12-17

Now is the time to prepare, wherever we are, so we and those around us encounter Him continually. To mix my metaphors, we are not thermometers, but thermostats – we’re not just here to read the room, but to shift it. So are our eyes, thoughts, and attention directed toward Him, toward His works, toward His will? Have we cleared the room so we’re not making ourselves or those around us choke on smoke we’ve stirred up?

We’re learning to set the atmosphere so when someone walks in, they’re not entering a cold space. We’ve prepped the wood stove, the fire is lit, and the current is already strong and headed upward. You’re here to worship, to see Jesus? Great, join us, it’s already happening.

If someone opens the door on a cold day and frosty air billows in, there’s a strong draft already in motion to carry it toward the fire, warm it, and send it higher. We’ve taken on the new life that continually rises. And with our attention drawn to Him, every moment is worship.

stewardship of days

Posted on by April 11, 2025

Last month, that weird illness I mentioned a few posts ago blew through the Valley here and hit about two thirds of our family. So once we recovered from those fevers and aches and exhaustion, it seemed like the perfect time to expose the boys to the chicken pox and get that over with, too.

(Haha, cringe…but really, if you know, you know: It’s not sickness, it’s immunity.)

stewardship of days: how we advance a culture of wholeness & healing

It was mild and they had great attitudes about it. But any illness can throw sleep schedules off, and for the first couple days we were up at all hours, and also sleeping at all hours: One morning up and doing at seven, another night still too awake to fall asleep before one.

So I stayed up long after Vin turned off his light, and read about General Washington’s attack on Trenton. You know, the famous one that proved Americans were lethal even at Christmastime: the crossing of the Delaware in the middle of the night, and the silent advance to catch the enemy off guard while they were still sleeping off their revelries.

Out in front, a company of Virginians led the way, men whose instructions were explicit. There could be no sound, no alarm given to whatever Hessian outposts might lie in their path.

– Jeff Shaara, The Glorious Cause

I quietly turned pages in the dim light. It was 1776 and I marched along with the bandaged feet in the snow, watching for enemy scouts, absolutely loving the gutsy strategy of our country’s forefathers.

Suddenly from his side of the bed, Vin snored loudly. I gave his pillow a push.

“Shh! We’re about to attack Trenton and you’re going to wake the Hessians!”

He mumbled an apology and rolled over, and I kept reading. He made this march years ago, but it’s new to me as I’ve been delving more and more into history. It’s been a fun switch, because as I’ve grabbed more of his history books, he’s been reading more of my psychology books, and that’s not something we planned; it just…somehow happened…which means the Holy Spirit is up to something.

I’ve also been reading Ezekiel, and he, too, is dealing with the sick and the scattered and the need to purge enemies from the land in a fight for freedom:

You have not strengthened the weak; you have not healed the sick; you have not bound up the injured; you have not brought back the strays; you have not sought the lost, but with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and scattered they became food for all the wild animals.

My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill; my sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with no one to search or seek for them.

– Ezekiel 34:4-6

What this looks like might be different in my community than yours, but often it looks like dark pockets of deep dysfunction. It goes far beyond immaturity and lack of education or church attendance. It looks like foolishness flaunted and depravity glorified, like whole swaths of people who need forgiven because they do not know what they do. They can’t see where they’re going and they don’t even know they are blind because the darkness is so familiar, and light is so foreign.

Also, in some of these same pockets, it looks like doctrine that’s only talked about on Sundays in voice tones that aren’t used the rest of the week. It looks like hidden magazines in the bottoms of closets, and religious books on display. It looks like awkward conversations with those who speak the name of Jesus freely and correctly because that Name usually only rolls off the tongue in all the wrong ways, and reverence on Tuesday feels out of place.

I don’t mean all that as one who looks down and condemns, but as one who looks back and remembers.

I was in junior high when I had the chicken pox. My most vivid memory of it, aside from the itching and fever, was reading (and rereading, multiple times) a book that had been newly released for my age group containing vivid depictions of bullying and suicide, complete with how-to instructions.

I think I got it from school; at least one adult in my life had read it and approved. And this was normal. If you, too, grew up in the secular 80s, you know how normalized certain things were that had no business being normal for kids.

So now we’re middle aged, with our own kids growing up in a culture that (still) needs shepherding.

And here’s the question that keeps me up at night lately: How do we strengthen the weak, and create an atmosphere of wholeness and healing? How do we remove the enemy from the land, bind up the injured, bring back the strays, and seek out the lost?

And really, this: How do we help the lost want to be found? Because if you know them, you know some who say they don’t want to be.

The more he thought about it, the more he saw that what they needed was the presence among them of holy men who would teach the ignorant, nurse the sick, comfort the sorrowful, and put the fear of hell fire into sinners like himself….

They taught the children, nursed the sick, converted the sinners, and praised God night and day.

– Elizabeth Goudge, Gentian Hill

That’s another book I’m reading. It’s so good, about a small community living on the coast during a different war. The enemy is near, trying to invade their land, so they prepare, and watch, and drill.

And here we focus more on God’s nearness, but also, the more we’re in His presence, the more we have eyes to see the infiltration of the enemy. We steward our days differently when we know what we’re fighting for, and what we’re fighting against. Because we do not fight against flesh and blood, but often it’s flesh and blood that fights against us.

Somehow we need to love them toward healing while protecting the hearts involved, but also go after the real enemy who seeks to destroy us all.

So we advance silently, walking with their bandaged feet, remembering our own wounds that made us limp in the dark, too.

Strengthening the weak and healing the sick isn’t always about late night baths and checking temperatures. Sometimes it’s about doing the unexpected, learning something outside our wheelhouse, and making a preemptive attack before the enemy gets a chance to put his pants on.

And this is why the boys had chicken pox; it had been thirteen years since the last time we’d heard of a local case close enough to take advantage of it.

“It’s not because we want you to be sick,” I told the boys. “It’s because we want your body to have a chance to fight it.”

But as I spoke, I heard God telling me the same thing about some hard situations. I didn’t want you to be hurt; I want you to be protected, and trained up to withstand attacks.

And that looks like creating an atmosphere where healing thrives, where immunity is strong, where humility is revered, where attempts at entertaining sin and sickness are immediately confronted with the disinfectant of truth in love, and shown the door.

Yes, we allowed sickness in a small measure, but we also did all the things to quickly show it the door and create strong immunity: garlic, oregano oil, baths, tea, rest. (Also, um, tons of Super Mario…because, Gen X parents, yo.) Easiest chicken pox ever; the boys might be a little sad they can’t do it again.

And to create a culture of wholeness and healing, we have to do all the things here, too, to keep the enemy out: worship, pray, confess, repent, study, learn, and grow. We discuss hard issues and process them together. We cover with grace as much as possible and confront only when absolutely necessary. (But also, we listen to country music and dance in the kitchen and, um, play a lot of Super Mario lately.)

We are shepherding and stewarding. So it also looks like deciding what we do with our time, and deciding what’s not worth that time, and deciding how to work smarter and not harder by doing things at the right times and not the wrong ones.

For example, when you only have a few minutes before you need to get a kid out of the bath, it’s probably not the best time to peruse the internet for solace and spiritual enlightenment, but there I was one evening, doing it anyway.

I scrolled to a 1-minute video that a friend shared, and a somber voice slowly intoned, “Dear Lord, I’m sorry for my impatience–”

…and I immediately clicked the X to close it.

Oh, the irony: No time for that, too busy, no thanks. Sad but true.

But also, I wasn’t just being impatient; I was prioritizing. An atmosphere of healing does not thrive in unjust condemnation, or inauthentic confession, or in watching gloomy videos when what we really need is a few funny cat memes before wrapping kids in towels and getting them to bed.

During the day, I still fight Bingley for desk space because he wants to lay across my arms while I write – which works while I’m typing (sort of) but not at all when I’m writing by hand.

When I don’t have words for anything else, I usually journal. And when that’s done and I still don’t have words for the project in progress, the last resort is to get up and do something else. This is why writers snack too much and end the day with dirty dishes and mugs all over the desk, like a college student perpetually in finals week.

Aside from all those dishes, though, were piles of papers that have accumulated for months – lists, notes for projects, cards and letters from a friend who’s much better at correspondence than I am. I need a file for those.

So I went to the shelf where the file folders are, and found one that looked empty, and behold…more papers.

Sigh. Story of my life.

These papers were more of the same. An old bookmark, old notes, another card from a friend. But also, look at this: these quotes I copied on scrap paper in painful handwriting years ago – and instead of writing the title of the book (which would’ve been helpful) I wrote the page number instead. I must’ve thought I’d remember the title, and clearly didn’t.

But it, too, has words for us here (and if you know the book they’re from, please tell me because I’ve scoured our shelves and the internet, and haven’t found it yet):

…cleanse our hearts of any unworthy motives…Let this become Your house of worship, of teaching, of ministering to human hearts, of meeting needs, of caring for little children. Let joy reign here and good fellowship.

Let this place be as a light on a lampstand, a beacon on a hill, shining out for all to see.

Again, the Spirit is up to something, making sure I’m paying attention, helping us find what we didn’t know to look for: Our hearts need cleansed, our spaces need dedicated, our purpose needs to be clear and remembered.

None of those are easy things. The simplest of them can bring us to our knees as we realize God has promoted us to the level of our incompetence so we recognize we can’t do anything without Him.

But we are present with this here, right now — you reading this, me typing this — and that is how we steward all the moments in our days, because stewardship is caring for what’s right in front of us, within reach, not distracted with other obligations and possibilities and needs.

It is my attention to my family, and my heart, and my attitude toward others, and all these relationships in the spheres around me. It is my efforts put toward the projects on this laptop, and that stack of books, and this student, and that client. It is this home, and this day, and the lesson I need to drive the kids to, and the hour I will spend there, working and waiting.

It is a million things, but it can’t be a to-do list or religious compulsion. It has to look like connection, and awareness, and Kingdom culture, instead.

We’re not showy about it, we don’t need to wake the Hessians. We take care of maintenance so we’re ready when a need arises; we have to steward well so we have wide margins that allow for freedom and power. Because the Spirit is up to something, creating an atmosphere of healing, wholeness, restoration, and strength. We make our silent advance — not in attacking, but in liberating — as we follow His promptings throughout the march.

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P.P.S. Remember when we talked about the Holy of Holies, and how we each hold the Temple within us, so caring for the Body becomes a sacred thing? I created a short study out of that, and it’s a free download. You may print and share as many as you need (it’s 11 pages) with your family, friends, kids, small group, etc. Right here:

Holy of Holies 3-day studyDownload