If you’re fighting depression, fear, anxiety, condemnation, or any of their cohorts, remember that not everything you’re thinking, feeling, and perceiving reflects reality.
Keep in mind that you’re fighting darkness, which obscures colors and lines. It blurs shapes and makes bright things gloomy.
It helps to not take darkness so seriously, to keep in mind that things are lighter and freer and more hopeful than they seem.
And knowing that makes a big difference.
Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you.
And nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.
— Isaiah 60:1-3
Oh Beloved, did you forget who you are? Equipped and guided, led by a strong hand…looked after, held, watched over, affectionately favored by the King.
And I wonder if you’ve forgotten that you are a fighter, if the enemy has made you feel like your sword was too dangerous. So instead of wielding it better (which would hurt him) he convinced you to lay it aside entirely to be safe.
But God is not asking us to be safe or protect ourselves; He’s the one who is our safety and protection. You are a bold warrior and the Kingdom needs you out there. The enemy is desperate to keep you from the fight.
God is eager to pour out more mercy and grace to you. It’s what He paid for, and He wants the full reward of what He died for. So hey, Love…you would be inconsiderate not to take it.
It’s the lies of the enemy again that tell you, “Nope, you’ve had enough, stop getting in line for this, it’s someone else’s turn.” He’s hoping we’ll fall for that trick again, believing God is too small or too stingy or too limited to do and be everything He really is.
But we have to ask for more grace and mercy, because He’s already made it available to us. To act like we shouldn’t take it is to put our judgment above God’s.
He’s a good dad. He knows what we need. He wants us to ask for and receive it.
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
— Romans 5:2
When anxiety rears up, we tend to feel frantic, like we need to hurry up and do something even though we often have no idea what to do.
But God is not in a rush. That isn’t to say He doesn’t care, doesn’t know our need, or is having fun at our expense.
It means He already knows what’s on the next page, and He isn’t in a hurry to turn to it.
He knows how the answer is going to be revealed, and He knows exactly how stressed out you are in trying to anticipate it while you endure the unknowing.
You know why we’re not good at waiting? Because usually answers come so fast we don’t have time for anxiety. All the millions of little things that resolve themselves throughout the day (What do we get for a gift? What should this kid’s consequence be? Where will I put the broody chicken?) are not any bigger in His eyes than the big things we’re facing right now that also need answers.
We don’t think to even trust Him in those everyday things, but He is just as faithful in the big things. He’s showing us that we can trust Him, no matter what.
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
—Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord knows that you’ve done what you could, but this situation still hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, dreamed, or expected it to. He knows you worked and prayed so hard to have it turn out differently.
It’s still turning out, though.
Don’t mistake this as the end when it’s still the middle. He’s not done yet, and neither are you.
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
— Isaiah 43:19
But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.
Looking for more posts like this? Kindling is a series of prophetic devotionals and encouragement to relight your fire in the places it’s gone out, and they’re all here. Or subscribe to get everything right to your inbox.
I turned off the kitchen light and walked to the top of the stairs, ready to go to bed. My phone was balanced on top of my glass of water in one hand (I know it’s a dumb thing to do; don’t try it at home, kids) and I opened the door with the other hand. As I took a step, I felt something squish under my slippered feet – something long and thin, like a cat’s tail.
Grabbing the railing, I immediately hopped to my other foot, hoping it would not land on another part of the retreating cat, and was simultaneously conscious of a desperate need to a) not drop my phone and water, and b) not plummet myself down the entire flight of steps.
As all this was going through my mind, I whisper-yelled “I’m SO sorry!” and braced myself for the inevitable scream of a cat who’s tail has been stepped on.
But, silence. No scream came.
I flipped the stair light on, and discovered I had apologized to a Nerf dart.
And this, friends, brings to mind that one time, long, long ago…
November 20, 2014
It’s dark outside and I saw what looked to be an ambulance without its lights flashing, driving toward an elderly neighbor’s house. I prayed, and prayed, watching from the window…and a few minutes later, realized I’d been fervently interceding for the recipient of a parcel from UPS.
Sometimes things just aren’t what we think they are.
Among other dumb things I’ve done is taking the act of doing something dumb and mistaking it for being dumb. But no, doing and being, while related, are not the same things. I’m finally mature enough to admit this in writing and now consider it one of the wiser things I’ve accomplished in life (and whoosh, there goes humility, right out the window).
So yes, we all do dumb things, but we are not dumb. When we take on the fear of other people’s opinions and the accusations of the enemy, we move from doing something to feeling like we are something, and it clouds our judgement about our identity. Those accusations and assumptions, real or not, tend to become our own accusations against ourselves. We forget who (and Who) we’re dealing with, and tend to misunderstand both.
I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge— even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you— so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
– 1 Corinthians 1:4-9
I bring this up because it’s the season for graduations, and the last time one of our kids graduated, the same thing happened. Not exactly, of course, and I think I’ve repressed the details, but the day was full and emotional and one kid got a lot of attention while other kids didn’t get as much attention, and someone, I don’t even remember who, misunderstood all the events and attention and blew up at the end of the day. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me – at least, I know it wasn’t me at first, but no doubt after the first explosion, I had my own detonation, too.
Because parenting is hard, yo.
(Do people still say “yo?”)
And hey, does asking make it obvious that I’m in my late 40s? Because Vince just turned 48 and that is so close to 50, and it seems like we’re just racing there. So much racing, everyone, everywhere, all the time. For example, whyyyy do we only have three kids under 18 in this house now? I don’t know how that happened and I never thought we’d actually get here. Also, I thought it would be easier, involving more things like vacations and newer vehicles and romantic dates with just the two of us, and less things like herbal supplements and poultry living in our bathroom and not-so-romantic drives to the courthouse.
But here we are, and it’s nothing like we expected. But it’s still good…usually.
I saw friends at the graduation whom I haven’t seen in a few years, and we all look older, which I blame less on age and genetics and more on living through the bizarre lunacy of the last few years, post-2020. Things like crow’s feet and wrinkles, and I’m sure they noticed the white streak in my hair, which, thanks to the sunburn I got the day before, had expanded by about thirty percent.
One friend asked what was new in our lives, and I blanked out. I mean, what is new? Deer in the headlights. There’s so much, and yet also, so little. So there we were amid all these kids in caps and gowns and I answered, “Well…Afton just graduated.” So profound.
We had been to two graduations in four days, and I’d seen kids I know, and kids I used to know, and kids who are related to people I know, and kids who I remember from galaxies far, far away, whose diapers I changed once or twice almost two decades ago. And this is wild, but also, nothing new under the sun; if you’re older than forty and have lived in the same small town (or big state) for at least twenty years and attended high school graduations and such, you’ve known this, too.
So how is such a common experience still so surreal?
Because things just aren’t what we think they are.
We think things (and people) stay the same, and while we say wise-sounding things that contradict this, deep down we don’t expect people (or ourselves) to change. I saw that girl five years ago – how is she not still in preschool? And when we’re confronted with those changes, it can be jarring. We laugh it off but also feel a vague sense of mistrust at the world, which has obviously been playing tricks on our memory and pulling the rug out from under us.
Hence, confusion and disorientation: We think of ourselves as a certain kind of complex but familiar person, but the world sees us differently – and even that’s not the real problem because what the world thinks doesn’t really matter. The real problem is that we see ourselves one way and God sees us another.
And this is where heartache lies, because if the way we see ourselves doesn’t match how God sees us, all kinds of dumb, not-fun things ensue: Remorse, misunderstanding, panicked alarm over things that are not at all what we think they are.
If we could only see our value, worth, and mission the way He does, we would never care what the mirror, the bank statement, or the online acquaintance said again. We wouldn’t rely on what only our eyes and ears tell us. We would see as He does, and trust Him.
We wouldn’t worry about looking stupid or old in that photo; we would see joy and affection and accomplishment. We wouldn’t agonize over someone’s perceived rejection; we would recognize our own effort and generosity, and their distraction and overwhelm. We wouldn’t assume someone was judging us because we would recognize we’re not the center of their attention, and they wouldn’t be the center of ours. We wouldn’t be anxious about running out of time because we would remember that He holds time, and us, in His hands.
Knowing we are covered by grace, we would be eager to hand out that same grace to others, and it would cover a multitude of potential fallacies.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
— 1 Corinthians 13:8-12
We would live lightly, free from panic and despair over things that are no threat at all. Not in blissful ignorance, but in blissful awareness – wise to the schemes of the enemy, and solidly at peace with God’s care for us, trusting and knowing that He is protecting and equipping us in the midst of everything.
We wouldn’t live under the weight of false expectations; the Lord doesn’t give us any of those. And we wouldn’t walk under the burden of feeling ruined, like a failure, too late, or not enough. The Lord does not see us as any of those.
We would walk in freedom: Free from taking on a persona that is not truly ourselves. Free from assumptions and presumptions and burdens and identities that aren’t ours to carry, as less or more than we really are because we have the plumb line of His perspective. Not insecure about who we are, but fully secure in Who He is.
Because when we recognize our need for Him, He sees us as breaking through idolatry and self-worship, recognizing our own imperfection, realizing our dependence on His perfection.
And we need to see it that way, too. It’s the most important graduation; it’s where all surrender starts.
P.S. If the way you see yourself involves things like self-sabotage, feelings of rejection, and fear of being disappointed, the premium newsletter comes out next week and I’ll be sharing some things the Lord’s been revealing to me in my own processing about this. Upgrade your subscription to get it, or if you can’t afford to upgrade, just let me know and I’d love to comp your subscription. xo
There I was, texting back the speech pathologist about how to help Reagan, who speaks at about a 3-year-old level. Except I was also cooking my breakfast, and also, I had no idea how to answer the pathologist’s question, which was, “Which sounds are you looking for?”
Which sounds? I thought. All of them. Where do I start? I texted out a short summary of Reagan’s ability and diagnoses, rattled through how Ls and Rs are very hard to distinguish, hard I often sounds like ah or uh unless we correct her, she does not say the y or x sounds in “excuse me” (it sounds like “eskoose me,” but if you read Risk the Ocean you know this is huge improvement over asking to be caboosed), and she does not move her mouth or tongue to make sounds properly, and –
“Why is smoke coming from the pan?” Finn asked, bringing me back to the task at hand right as the smoke alarm went off.
Oh yeah, breakfast. Whoops.
Because I cannot cook hash browns and navigate the intricate juncture of speech pathology and special needs parenting at the same time. One of them needs my urgent attention, and the other, no matter how important, needs to wait.
There are so many competing needs. It feels like everything needs to be done at once, and everything needs our attention all at the same time. But it’s just not true.
I set the phone down and let the situation simmer while I rinsed the burnt oil off the cast iron pan before starting again. We can give ourselves do-overs, just like we give our kids – we can leave the half-written text as a draft, we can mute the notifications, we can hold a boundary to those asking for information that’s none of their business. We can delete the platforms, channels, and social media outlets that feed our cortisol levels instead of feeding us.
And it’s important to remember that, because our inboxes and mailboxes and phones and screens are full of all kinds of things demanding our attention and outrage.
But just because they demand it, doesn’t mean they get it. Especially not on their terms.
We can turn the flame down when the world is on fire, and pour living water on it, instead.
For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
– Galatians 3:27
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
As we abide, we let the One who lives in us pour out onto the world around us, and in doing so we refuse to take the enemy’s bait, choosing instead to play it cool while a firm boundary of equanimity settles around us: This house, this family, this day is our dominion, and whatever tries to barrel its way through will feel all the more heat outside as their feet are held to the fire in contrast with the cool joy of the living water that reigns here in this place.
We overcome not by passivity or blissful ignorance, but by strategically starving the beast that feeds on fear and chaos and distraction. We create order and beauty by walking in joy, trusting God, doing both the modest and immense tasks in front of us.
So, bake bread. Hug your kids. Kiss your spouse. Drink the water. Read the books. Think before blurting out. Appreciate the friend, reach out to the quiet one. Pray for the neighbor. Make something beautiful (like hash browns).
So many tiny, tiny, little things feel so insignificant in light of current events. The enemy goes around, the unholy attention seeker, tossing lit matches in varying degrees of proximity to us, hoping we will lose focus and run frantic, sloshing water out of ourselves in attempt to put out one fire while two others start raging.
But when we face the Living Water, soak, and refill, we can point in prayer and direct a fire hose without leaving His presence.
Last year in one of our intercessors meetings, one of our pastors gave us a double-sided page of notes and said, “Our battle is to abide in peace.” My Gen X summary of his notes is, Keep your cool. Persist stubbornly in joy. Biblical hope is not like the world’s version of wishful thinking; it is the expectation of God’s answers and movement. The joy of the Lord is our strength.
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
— 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
And then not long after that in another meeting, he read this passage:
Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joyfulness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things, therefore you shall serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness, and lacking everything. And he will put a yoke of iron on your neck until he has destroyed you.
— Deuteronomy 28:47-48
And we noticed the first part: Because you did not serve the Lord with joyfulness and gladness…Have you thought about how joy is both worship and warfare?
So we choose joy. We choose gratitude. We choose to play it cool, not giving the enemy more attention than he deserves, and we put our eyes on what God is doing. And as we do that, He shows us more and more of what He is up to. Our focus on Him protects us from what is not of Him, and the enemy is disarmed by our worship.
If I had known this lesson years ago, our hardest season might not have been so dark. Maybe though, really, that was the beginning of me learning this lesson of how to play it cool and survive with a smile when everything looks to be falling apart. But I’m learning it even more now, and when we know better, we do better.
We are fighting (and winning!) the battle of the day every time we pursue the particular “whatever is good, whatever is lovely” God has called us to in this moment.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness [gentleness] be known to everyone.
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
— Philippians 4:4-8
When the enemy attacks and tries to get you to look at the wrong thing, he’s saying, “Look at this, look at this, look at this!” trying to get your gaze off what the Lord has said, trying to get you to put the weight of your gaze on the other thing, on the wrong thing, and lift it off of God’s promise. The enemy wants to magnify the wrong thing and diminish hope, to shrink your trust in the Lord’s provision and ability, to inflate the discouragement and deception and lies, and to make the problem — which may be very real — seem more than it is, so as to steal the even greater reality and truth and hope of the provision and bright future the Lord has for you.
The Lord sees and knows. He knew it when you felt that gut punch, when you heard the bad news, the snide remark, the lie from the enemy that said you won’t make it. He speaks a better word and His blood is covering you, and He will have the final say. You won’t have to wait too long for it. He is preparing a place for you in the presence of your enemies, and they will watch as He vindicates and delivers you.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
— Psalm 23:4-6
So when the enemy comes at you with, “Look at this, look at this!” and jabs his ugly finger at the sore spot that has been hurting and draws your attention to it by bad news or someone’s careless remark or their disbelief that you could be doing something that they just can’t fathom, we must not fall for it. It’s a ploy from the enemy.
He wants to distract you with the lie so you don’t believe in the truth. He wants to distract you with the accusation so you forget your real identity. He wants to damage your vision.
He knows the time is short. He knows how close your promise is, so he’s desperate to make you disbelieve it.
But the promise is near, and God is present, as close as your breath. Do not take your eyes off Him, because He is your salvation, your very near and present help.
We are cultivating Kingdom culture with every tiny move of faithfulness.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
– Colossians 3:12-15
So this is me preaching to myself, and any of you who need it, too:
Yes, the world is crazy intense right now. But you still need to have fun. Do not let the enemy steal your joy. Do not let him strip away the things you love, or make you send a message to those you love that life is just too scary right now. Because God’s cool; He’s got this. He’s speaking to His people, including you, and telling you what to do and when to do it.
He won’t always tell you to do something huge and profound. He will also lead you in small, steady, beautiful things, and you will aggravate the enemy with your joy. You will disarm him with your bold, unshrinking confidence in the Lord.
We are creating the culture, and we declare it will be one of joy and peace. Our hearts are unshaken. Great days are ahead.
Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
— Nehemiah 8:10
Lord, guide our words and our walking today, our driving and our doing, our thinking and our talking. Help us to be mature, encouraging, life giving, and truth sharing.
We don’t have to be the loudest to be heard. Protect us from talking too much or any other form of striving. We trust You to lead us and use us, so we will move out of Your way and let You do the directing.
We declare peace, joy, and truth are winning the day today in our hearts and in our communities.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.
In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
— Ephesians 1:2-6
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